The Illusory Fixation
by SecretMel
Summary: Penny allows Sheldon to help her run lines for a role she landed at the local Pasadena Theater. The romantic plot begins to make Penny fall for his character. Will she be able to separate fantasy from reality or begin a dangerous romance with the illusion of a man?
1. Chapter 1

The Illusory Fixation

Penny allows Sheldon to help her run lines for a role she landed at the local Pasadena Theater. The romantic plot begins to make Penny fall for his character. Will she be able to separate fantasy from reality or begin a dangerous romance with the illusion of a man?

Chapter 1

_I've spent most of my life dreaming of gracing the stages of Broadway, starring in prime-time television shows, or becoming the newest Hollywood movie star. I've always wanted to be an actress, so, on a wing and a prayer, I moved to California to start my life. And years later, here I am. I've dabbled in local theater and had one commercial. That's it. I mean, there's something to be said for making friends and living on my own. For the first time in my life, I have girlfriends. And not the kind you call when you need bodies for a social outing, I mean real friends. Best friends. Bernadette and Amy are the kind of girls I'll probably interact with for the rest of my life. And the guys have a special place in my heart too. With Leonard, I found a serious boyfriend. One who would spend the rest of his life with me at any moment. And then there's Sheldon. A man so brilliant, and yet so simple minded. I've always been jealous at how well he knows himself, and the air of confidence he has. And I know I've done a lot for him too. Then there's Howard and Raj. Not much to say there. I just wish…_

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

Penny stopped typing abruptly at the sound of Sheldon knocking.

"Oh boy, Sheldon's here. " She sarcastically said to herself right before crossing the room to open the door.

"Hi Sheldon" she said with a half-hearted smile.

"Hi Penny, I hope I'm not interrupting anything" He responded.

"Well, I was just writing part of my autobiography for acting class. It's actually going pretty…"

"Okay good, can you drive me to the comic book store?"

It didn't surprise her for Sheldon to cut her off when speaking.

Penny glared at Sheldon. "Tell Raj to take you, I'm sure he's going over there anyway."

"What makes you so sure that Raj is going to the comic book store? Have you recently spoken to him about his plans for today? Have you been studying his schedule to extrapolate data based on his patterns of recreational activity up to and including trips to the comic book store? Or maybe you…"

"Okay Sheldon! Never mind. I don't know if he's going. I'll take you, but make this quick. I have things to do."

"Very well. Thank you."

Begrudgingly, Penny grabbed her keys and followed Sheldon down the stairs. For a brief second she laughed at the thought of being about Sheldon's height when one stair behind him, but kept it to herself to keep Sheldon from venturing into the history of stairs or whatever. The car ride started off quiet, but as always, the hole in Sheldon's face didn't stay closed.

"I must say Penny, putting a happy face sticker on the dashboard merely prevents you from seeing your check engine light. It neither fixes the problem with your engine, nor blocks passengers viewing the dashboard from a different angle from seeing the check engine light."

"It's fine Sheldon, the engine died a while ago and I had it fixed. I think they just forgot to reset the light or something."

"Ah yes, the proverbial 'or something.' 'Something' could be that there is a new problem with the engine, or the previous problem with the engine was never fixed properly, or maybe we're about to die in a fiery car crash..." Sheldon said in his typical overly dramatic sarcastic tone. For a man that claims to be baffled by sarcasm, he sure dishes it out enough.

"I get it Sheldon…"

Upon arriving at the comic book store, Sheldon went straight for the center console to sift through the vast collection of comic books in the hopes that a new one surfaces. Or at least one he didn't have.

Penny stayed back toward the front corner of the room. It didn't take long for Stuart to spot her mindlessly playing with her cell phone.

"Um, hi Penny!" Stuart said.

Penny looked up and wandered over to the desk to make small talk. Luckily no one else was there at the moment, sparing her from the gaping stares she usually endures in that place.

"Hey Stuart, how's it goin'?" She responded.

"Oh you know, it's good. It's the same really. Which wasn't very good before so I guess calling it good now isn't appropriate. But yeah, I'm alive, so that's good. Sort of." Stuart always had something interesting and equally depressing to say. Penny learned to just brush it off, since being nice landed her as his date to a wedding a while back.

"Oh, ok, yeah I'm good too…" Penny's phone buzzed as she began to respond. She was just thrilled to have a reason to end this conversation before it began. It was a text message from another waitress she met at work. "Give me a second Stuart, I have to answer this."

"Oh take your time. I'll be here. I'm always here…" Stuart trailed off.

She opened the message. "Hi Penny, it's Larissa. Are u going to the auditions at the theater tomorrow night?"

Penny had no idea they were starting another show already. She texted back:

"What audition? I haven't been over there since the last show I did."

"They agreed to do some play Mikey wrote. A mushy love story from what Ive read. Its not bad tho. " Larissa replied.

Mikey is the son of the director from the last show Penny did. Penny got along with him pretty well. He's very outgoing, and not a threat to Leonard since he's gay. The best of both worlds.

"Send me an email with whatev info you got. I'll be there!" Penny answered.

Penny couldn't help but smile. This would hardly be her big break, but the more she could add to her acting resume, the better. She thought about how wonderful it would be to star in a romantic plot. She could play the lead. She recently figured out that she was in love with Leonard, so she could easily use those emotions to help her portray love.

Penny stopped being excited for a brief moment.

_Leonard gets pretty jealous. I sure hope he'll be okay with me doing something like this. What if there's physical contact involved? Will he start a fight with me again? Well he is away for the next few months; he doesn't HAVE to know about it…_

This wasn't good. Penny was already contemplating lying to Leonard. And then she'd have to lie to Sheldon, since he sure can't lie to Leonard.

_Okay Penny, you can do this. You can handle this. Leonard will be fine with it. He wants the best for you. And you might not get the part anyway._

That brought Penny back to reality. She shouldn't be worried about a part in a play she hasn't gotten yet. A play she hasn't even read yet.

_I'm being ridiculous._ She looked up to see Sheldon paying for his comic book.

"Oh good, you're ready to go." She said to Sheldon.

Sheldon nodded and followed her out of the store. Penny couldn't wait to go home and check her email.


	2. Chapter 2

The Illusory Fixation

Chapter 2

After parting ways with Sheldon in the hallway, Penny ran in her apartment to check her email. Sure enough. Larissa forwarded her some information about the upcoming show. It was called "Next to Nothing." The plot seemed to be about a love affair between a professor and his student. The story wasn't terribly inventive, but the script sample appeared well written and heartfelt. The lead character was Sarah Meadows: A 21 year old female attending the university where Professor Tim Collingsworth teaches. Penny skimmed through the synopsis. It was your usual secret love affair between teacher and student. Penny looked at her reflection via her cell phone.

_I could pass for 21. It wasn't THAT long ago._

She went to her room and looked through her wardrobe. She still had most of her clothes from when she first moved in to Los Robles. They might be a little tighter than they were then, but nonetheless, she kept them.

She rummaged through her drawers and found a light blue t-shirt and pair of denim shorts she used to wear. She put them on and proceeded to put her hair in a high ponytail.

"There, that's totally 21 year old college girl." She said to herself as she looked in the mirror.

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

"Now what…"

Penny walked to her door in an exasperated manner and opened it to see a melancholy Sheldon Cooper.

"What is it now Sheldon?"

"It's Halo night." He responded, rather robotically.

"I thought we weren't doing that now that Leonard's gone."

"But Wednesday's Halo night. And it's Wednesday."

"Sweetie, can we pass on tonight? Is anyone else supposed to come over for halo?" she asked.

"They're 'supposed' to, but they're not. Howard and Raj seem to be otherwise occupied."

"Then there's really no reason for me to come over now, is there?" She noticed a bit of sadness in Sheldon's eyes. "Oh sweetie, I know you miss Leonard, but he'll be back before you know it. And then you can be back to your normal schedule. Normal for you, that is."

Sheldon looked at Penny questioningly for a second. "Why did you change your clothing? It's a bit early to put on your Wednesday pajamas, not that you have any organizational scheme for your sleepwear…"

"Yes, well thank you for that. I'm trying to find something to wear for my audition tomorrow. I'm supposed to be a 21 year old college girl. What do you think of this? I used to wear these when I was 21."

Sheldon quickly replied "If you're asking about socially acceptable attire of college students, I did notice a plethora of women dressed in a similar fashion while attending undergraduate school. Nonetheless, I can understand your difficulty in finding a suitable outfit considering your lack of experience with the subject matter."

"Hey, I went to school… I just didn't graduate" She retorted.

"Yes, but you said this hypothetical student is 21 years of age. Typically by 21, college students are in their third or fourth year of school, assuming they need four years to obtain their degree and started at age 18. Neither of which are available in the two-year degree programs usually offered by Community Colleges."

"Again, thank you for that. I'm taking that as a 'you look great Penny, good luck tomorrow!'"

"Didn't I say that already?" Sheldon responded

Penny glared at him._ Typical Sheldon._

"Anyway, I've got to learn part of the script for an audition tomorrow night." Penny explained.

"Alright, goodbye Penny."

Sheldon went back to his apartment. Penny opened her laptop to read over her lines for the audition. Apparently, the audition didn't include any monologues. The passages for tomorrow were mainly between Sarah and Tim, with a few interactions with minor characters. After a few minutes of reading through the script, Penny had an idea. She promptly picked up her laptop and marched across the hall. Without knocking, she threw open the door.

"Hey Sheldon, I have an idea."

"Good for you Penny. Maybe you should write it down. On another note, most people knock before entering someone else's apartment." Sheldon continued typing on his laptop at his desk.

"If you don't want people walking in without knocking, start locking your door." She said.

Sheldon picked up his head. "Noted." He replied.

Penny thought about her previous statement for a second. "Wait, scratch that, I don't know where the key is."

"You lost the key to our apartment?!" Sheldon looked momentarily freaked out.

"No, it's in there, somewhere. Anyway, can you help me with something?" Penny asked.

"Can I? Most likely. Will I? That depends on your request." He answered.

Penny sighed. "Well now that Leonard's not here for a while, and you seem to be using me to drive you around in his place, I was thinking that you could help me run lines for my audition. You know, now that you've 'mastered the craft' after two acting lessons with me."

"I'm not sure what this has to do with Leonard's absence" Sheldon replied.

"Oh you know, I scratch your back you scratch mine." She said.

"I understand the metaphor, but I'm still uncomfortable with the amount of physical contact involved."

"Sheldon! Come on, you just have to read the professor's lines. It's not that bad. Pleaseeeeeeeeee?"

"Oh very well." He said as he closed his laptop. "So much for a peaceful Wednesday night."


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the positive feedback! I'm posting this chapter rather quickly. Don't get spoiled though, I probably won't be cranking out new chapters every day. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 3

Sheldon made his way over to his spot on the couch, laptop in hand. Penny sat down at the other end with her laptop perched on her thighs. She was beaming at the idea of being in a show again, however she had to remember not to get excited about every audition, since most of them ended with rejection.

"Ok Sheldon, I forwarded you the email Larissa sent me with the script in it. You'll be reading the part of Professor Collingsworth. He teaches American Lit at the university and Sarah, the part I'll be reading, is one of his students." Penny explained. She continued to read through some lines while waiting for Sheldon to open his laptop and retrieve his email. "Ooooh look at this, Sarah calls him Dr. Collingsworth in class, I guess that means he's a 'you people' doctor."

Sheldon looked up from his laptop. "If you're insinuating a PH.D in American Literature is remotely comparable to a PH.D in theoretical physics, not to mention a plethora of other advanced degrees might I add, then we're done here." He raised his hand to the top of his laptop screen.

Penny quickly responded, "You know what I mean Sheldon. Anyway, the first scene takes place on campus. The professor is leaving the classroom building as Sarah crosses his path. He strikes up a casual conversation with her about their last office hours' segment. Did you download Act I, Scene I yet?"

Sheldon nodded and turned slightly to face penny. "Shall I start?"

"When you're ready, sweetie."

Sheldon sat up a bit taller before reading. _"Hello Sarah. Are you stopping by my office hours again this afternoon?"_

"_Oh yes, I'll be there. I actually wanted to ask you about the paper you assigned last week."_ She replied.

"_Okay, great. I look forward to seeing you then. Loved your discussion of colonial romanticism in class this morning. You __did __fantastic__."_ Sheldon stopped reading for a moment. "I can't imagine a PH.D in American Literature having such disregard for the English language. 'Fantastic' is not an adverb. That sentence requires an adverb. For instance, one could say 'you did fantastically' or the more commonly used 'you did great.' 'Great' works in that sentence because it is technically an adjective AND an adverb."

"Holy crap, Sheldon. I don't have all night for this. And I don't think I'll get the part if I walk in and say 'Hi, I'd love to be in this show, but here are all the things WRONG with it!'"

"Might as well say 'ya'll done swell!'" Sheldon continued, emphasizing his Texas drawl in the process.

Penny gritted her teeth. "_Oh, wow, thank you professor. I have to go to class now, I'll see you later_." She proceeded to stand up and walk in place, since the stage directions indicated she walked away. She perched her laptop on the back of the couch, still facing her, so she could read it.

She began to speak softly to herself. "_Oh, he is so cute for a teacher. Of course I'll be at his office hours after my…_" After walking for a few seconds, she pretends to walk straight into a wall. "_OW!" _ Penny proceeded to rub her forehead. She looked back at the script and saw a third character speaking.

Penny looked over to Sheldon. "Sheldon, read Sam's lines real quick. He's just another student."

"Well how am I reading his lines? Are Sarah and Sam friends? Is he a random guy in the hallway? Have they had carnal relations in the past?" He responded.

"What? No! Just read it real quick. I didn't realize there were 3 characters in this scene. Go!" Penny snapped.

Sheldon sighed and looked back at his laptop. "_Hey, are you alright?_"

Penny continued. "_Yeah, I'm fine. Just didn't see the wall there_."

"_Something certainly has you distracted this morning. Feel better soon, okay?" _He replied

"_Thanks. Yeah, I'm fine, it's nothing." _She turned around and looked off into the distance where the professor supposedly exited the stage. _"I sure hope it's nothing…"_ Penny's face softened, hoping to portray an expression of longing.

Sheldon quickly broke her serenity. "Alright, let's get on with it. What's next?" He asked as he scrolled through the email on his laptop.

"Ok, I need to do one of the more dramatic scenes too, you know, to show my versatility." She replied with a little smirk. "Open up Act III Scene I."

"Alright. _Professor Collingsworth and Sarah Meadows are in his office. The door is shut and they are alone. Sarah is on the verge of tears and Tim is trying not to look at her_. Unoriginal plot indeed." Sheldon seemed less than amused. It didn't matter to Penny, however. She needed to be familiar with the lines for tomorrow, not master the role she may or may not get. Sheldon's cold read and less than stellar performance would suffice.

Penny smiled, and let out a small laugh. Sheldon looked at her with a confused expression.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just realized that I've missed this, that's all."

"Missed what exactly?"

"You know, us hanging out. Since I got back together with Leonard and you started hanging out with Amy regularly, you and I haven't been, you know, you and I." Penny responded.

"That hardly makes any sense Penny. I've always been me and you've always been you. It'd be impossible for you to have been someone else."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay I don't miss THIS part of it, but I miss hanging out with you. We rarely hang out without the whole group anymore. I've missed my whack-a-doodle."

"Well, I too enjoy your company on occasion Penny. But if your incessant reminiscing prevents me from obtaining a proper REM cycle, I can assure you we won't be 'hanging out' much this summer." Sheldon said. He looked back at his screen. "Shall we?"

Penny kept smiling. That was about as much of a compliment as she was going to get from Sheldon. "Okay, I start this time."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Sheldon continued to run lines with Penny until she felt comfortable enough with the material. When Penny finally got back to her apartment, she read through the audition scenes for the other characters. Aside from Sarah and Tim, there were some other classmates of Sarah's, another professor, a friend of Tim's, and the head of his department at the university. Sarah's roommate, Diana, was the only other part she could potentially end up with, since the girls were about the same age. Diana seemed a bit more conservative and focused, whereas Sarah was more free-spirited and gutsy, qualities Penny admired.

Penny woke up early Thursday morning. She was rather anxious about the audition, yet annoyed that she had to put in a 6 hour shift at the Cheesecake Factory beforehand. Like always, Penny made some coffee, showered, and put on her uniform. She still had an hour before she had to leave for her noon shift, so she sat down with her laptop in an attempt to keep writing her autobiography. It didn't need to be too long; it was merely an exercise for acting class. Penny enjoyed writing about her life, and contemplated continuing writing her personal story after the assignment was due.

_Alright, where did I leave off?_

Penny looked at what she wrote already. She noticed she was cut off mid-sentence when Sheldon came over that night.

_"I just wish…" What did I wish? Dammit Sheldon, now I have no idea where I was going with this. _

She erased the erroneous three words and stared at her machine for a few minutes before typing:

_I've been a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory since I moved to Pasadena. Occasionally, I get to be a bartender there as well. It's a little stressful, and there are some days I don't want to get out of bed to go to work, but it has its moments. The guys come here every Tuesday night and order relatively the same thing every time. With Sheldon, it's exactly the same thing every Tuesday, down to the tedious, yet sanitary, preparation of his barbeque bacon cheeseburger. _

Penny stopped typing. She didn't want to end up off topic by babbling about all the stupid things Sheldon does. Ironically enough, they do consume a decent chunk of her life. All of her friends could easily say the same.

She gave up on the writing and began to think about the play again. She wondered what the audition would be like. Would there be a big turn out? Would Mikey's handiwork attract a big crowd opening night? Hopefully people wouldn't walk out mid-show like the RENT showcase she was in.

Penny took a deep breath, put her hair in a messy bun, and left for work. Throughout her shift, she imagined the men auditioning with her. The role would probably be easier if she performed against a good looking guy. Definitely older than her, but not so old that it starts getting creepy. Dark hair, maybe distinguished eyes. And definitely tall. No offense to Leonard, but their love story would hardly hold a crowd for two and a half hours.

Finally, Penny finished her shift and made her way to her apartment. She rushed in and changed into her predetermined college attire. She printed out a copy of the scenes Larissa sent her and stood in front of the bathroom mirror with them.

_"Oh yes, I'll be there. Oh YES, I'll BE there. I'll be THERE." Hmf. I'm thinking way too much. Just say the lines stupid._

Penny rehearsed a few more times in the mirror before gathering her stuff and leaving for the audition. On her way over, she started to think.

_I suppose Larissa's going to be there. Why would she tell me to audition if I'm essentially her competition? Does she think she's better than me? Or maybe she's helping Mikey with something instead. No, she's definitely auditioning. She's a nice girl and all, but she is three years younger than me. Then again, who knows how many other girls will turn up? _

She tried her hardest not to get into her own head and proceeded to listen to Raj's Beyoncé CD instead.

When Penny arrived at the Pasadena Theater, she noticed about 8 girls her age, a handful of attractive men, some people that didn't look fitting for any part either, etc… She signed in at the front and waited in the auditorium with the others. Larissa came over to sit by her.

"Hey Penny, I'm glad you could make it. Maybe we'll both get cast and get to work together!"

"Oh yeah that would be fun!" _Granted I'm Sarah and you're not._

"Well good luck then!" She said before thumbing through the script. It was obvious they were auditioning for the same part. Although like always, Penny said that she would accept any part.

"Hey ladies! I'm so glad you want to be a part in my show! You're both so damn cute; I wish I didn't have to make any cuts!" Mikey said as he walked up to them.

"Mikey! Of course we're here. We support you, and we need resume fillers anyway." Larissa said while laughing a bit.

"Hi Mikey, the script looks pretty solid. This should be fun." Penny replied.

"Okay well good luck, dad and I will start calling names in a bit!" He said as he ran up toward his table in front of the stage.

Mikey proceeded to introduce himself to the room and explain how the auditioning process would work. He would announce the scene and call up various actors/actresses to do a read through on stage. They would run through each scene a handful of times and callbacks may or may not be necessary.

By the third run through of scene 1, Mikey called Penny's name. She ran through scene 1 with some guy. He looked more like Wolowitz than a college professor. But she did her best and that was that. Next, she watched Larissa run through the same scene with a nice looking fellow. He reminded her of the teacher from Glee, not that she watched the show particularly often. He was tall with soft, curly hair. He looked the part, and was a pretty good actor. Unfortunately, Larissa interacted with him well, which made Penny nervous.

By the third scene, Penny was feeling better about her chances. The aforementioned actor's name was Cole. She finally got to run through a scene with him, and felt more comfortable with the role. He was about Sheldon's height, maybe a bit heavier, but still relatively thin. The only thing that worried her was they could easily pass for friends rather than student/teacher. She hoped she looked young enough to avoid the confusion, but she worried nonetheless.

By the fourth audition scene, Penny began to worry more. She was called up first to do the run though, but she was told to read for Diana, Sarah's roommate. They called some perky young girl up to read for Sarah, which added to Penny's diminishing confidence. Reading for Diana wasn't bad, but it wasn't what she wanted.

By the end of the audition, Mikey told everyone that they'd receive a phone call in the next few days informing them on casting decisions.

Penny drove home that night rather nervously. It was just a small play at the local theater, but she felt drawn to Sarah's character and became rather obsessed with obtaining the role. Maybe working at the cheesecake factory without any acting gigs for so long left her desperate. Or maybe she missed the old days. Either way, she went to sleep that night anxiously awaiting the phone call to come later this week.


	5. Chapter 5

Penny spent the next few days to herself, working all weekend at the Cheesecake Factory. Amy coaxed Sheldon into a date Saturday night and Bernadette was out gallivanting with Howard. She thought about contacting Raj, but since his discovery that he could talk to her without liquor, he hasn't stopped talking. Besides, Penny was so fixated on landing this role that she spent most of her alone time fantasizing about being 21 again. Sunday after work, she imagined life as Sarah, rather than just playing Sarah in the show.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her laptop ringing. Leonard was Skyping her from the boat! Penny quickly picked up her laptop to accept the video chat.

"Hey sweetie. What a nice surprise!" Penny answered.

"Hi Penny! I miss you!" Leonard responded.

"Aw, I miss you too. I know you haven't been gone that long yet, but it feels like forever."

Leonard smiled in his usual goofy way. "Yeah, I wasn't sure I'd be able to get in touch with you, but we do have limited internet connection out here. How are things at home? Is Sheldon making you crazy?"

"Oh, no more than usual. Although he did help me out the other day. I auditioned for a show and he ran lines with me. I'm really excited about it. I hope I get a callback this week. How's your trip? Everything you hoped it would be?"

"Great! I'm having a blast. It's incredible working with everyone out here. I'm sorry I can't talk for very long right now. No one knows I walked off and hacked into the wifi, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to say hi to you. Good luck with your play! I love youuuuu." Leonard said.

"Aw, I love you too. Call me again soon!"

"Okay Bye!"

Penny smiled. It was nice to hear from Leonard, even if it was just for a second. Even though they didn't get to talk about her play, it didn't seem to faze him either way that she was in the auditioning process. She took that as permission to accept the role, if she got the part.

About an hour later, Penny was over at the stove boiling water for some Ramen noodles when her phone rang. She reached for it and answered without looking to see the phone number.

"Hello?!" Penny answered enthusiastically.

"Hello Penny? It's Mikey."

"Omigod hi Mikey! Are you calling with some good news?"

"I am indeed. I would like to inform you that we have casted you as Diana Allen. Do you accept the role?"

"Oh thank you! Of course… wait what? Diana? The roommate?"

"Yes, Diana is Sarah's roommate at the university. We thought you were a great fit due to your maturity and perseverance."

_Maturity? Did he just call me old?_

"Oh, um thanks. So who's playing Sarah?" Penny asked.

"Larissa will be playing Sarah. And we casted a new actor, Cole Higgins, as Tim. You'll be working with a great cast. I'm really excited for this production! Our first rehearsal will be in two weeks, since we don't get the rehearsal space until Macbeth is done showing. For now, we ask that you come to the theater tomorrow between 7 and 9 to pick up your script. Is that okay?"

Penny reluctantly accepted. "Yeah, sure. I'll be there. Thanks again. I'll see ya."

"Okay congrats Penny! Take care!"

Penny slowly hung up her phone. She was completely heartbroken at losing out to Larissa. More so, she worried about her ability to watch them rehearse without strangling Larissa out of jealousy.

_It's just a part. You knew this could happen. You can't be mad at Larissa. SHE was the one that told you about the audition. Besides, you're going to be in a show. You like acting. You need things on your resume. _

Penny continuously tried to convince herself that this was a good thing. She finished making her Ramen noodles and served herself a heaping bowl with a side of red wine.

Her phone rang again. This time it was Bernadette calling. She tossed the phone aside without answering and continued to drink away her sorrows.

* * *

The next day, Penny called back Bernadette and arranged for some retail therapy. Bernadette agreed to leave work early in an attempt to cheer Penny up. They met up at the mall and attacked the first shoe store.

"Penny, it's not the worst thing in the world. You did get cast in the show. And you were his first choice for the role you got. That's impressive." Bernadette said.

"Yeah, I guess. Uggghh I was so excited about having the lead in this show. A fun college girl having an affair with the professor… it's the fun stuff nighttime soap operas are made of." Penny responded while half smiling. "What bothered me most is that he called me mature. Like I guess it's a compliment, but it felt like he was calling me old. My acting career is almost nonexistent and I'm being called old before I get started."

"Penny you're not old. You've just grown up. Think about it, you're more mature now than when I met you, and you were already over 21.

"Are you saying I was immature?!" Penny asked, clearly flustered.

"No no of course not. You're very mature." Bernadette responded.

"Dammit now you think I'm old too? Ugghh!"

Bernadette knew she was in a lose-lose situation and kept her eyes down. Penny quickly got distracted by a pair of silver stilettos.

"Omigosh these are so cute. Oh I love the little sparkly things on the heel. I need these."

Penny grabbed the box with her size on it and tried them on. She walked over to the small mirror next to the bench.

"Yep, definitely getting these." Penny said.

Bernadette flipped over the display shoe and read the price. "Penny, they're $275.00"

"Yeah, well crappy roommates need nice shoes too." She snapped.

Bernadette knew better than to fight with Penny. A little retail therapy would go a lot further than trying to talk out the situation in a public setting. Penny looked over at her and softened her expression.

"Bernadette, I'm sorry. I'm just really frustrated. You and Amy and the guys all have your lives together and here I am unable to get the lead role in a local theater. What's wrong with me?" Penny asked.

"Nothing's wrong with you Penny. You're really good at acting, I'm sure the right part will come along soon. For now, just try to have fun with this one." Bernadette responded.

Penny smiled. "Aw thanks sweetie, you're the best." She gave Bernadette a hug. "Now, let's go to the clearance rack in the back and get some more shoes."

The girls continued shopping for the rest of the afternoon. That night, the gang went to Sheldon's apartment for Thai food. Penny went to her apartment first to drop off her shoes. She was last to arrive at 4A.

"I can't stay very late tonight; I have to go to the stupid theater to pick up my stupid script." Penny said begrudgingly.

"I'm sorry, but you seem unhappy." Sheldon responded.

"Yeah well, I got cast as the stupid roommate Diana instead. "

"Stupid roommate? From what I remember she seemed to be the more intelligent of the two roommates... granted they're both liberal arts majors."

Penny glared at Sheldon, per usual.

Amy spoke up. "Sheldon told me that he recently helped you prepare for your audition. I want you to know bestie, that if you need to practice being a college roommate, I'd be more than willing to stay at your apartment and engage in roommate activities. For instance, we could develop our own sorority and have pillow fights in our underwear as we undergo embarrassing hazing activities!"

"Ohhhh… thanks… Amy. Yeah, I'll get back to you on that. I should really stop moping about this. It could be fun. And plus I won't have to worry about any awkward romantic scenes." Penny responded.

"Romantic roommate scenes?" Asked Howard, in a disturbing yet hopeful manner.

"Howie… behave." Bernadette chimed in. Penny knew to ignore Howard anyway.

The group maintained their idle chit chat for the duration of their meal. Raj spoke a little, but seemed more inclined to speak when he was alone with the girls rather than just among them within the group. Probably out of fear of judgment from Howard.

Penny looked down at her watch. "Okay, it's 6:45. I might as well get their first so I don't have to run into anyone. Hopefully in two weeks I'll be over this whole thing." She got up and went to the door. "Bye guys!"

The gang waved her goodbye and went back to their Thai food.

Penny got to the theater just before 7pm and found the auditorium set up for Macbeth, the show currently playing there. Penny looked around for a bit, relieved that she felt pretty good about being in the theater despite her current conundrum. Mikey came out from the backstage area and saw Penny looking around in the back.

"Penny, great, I'm glad you're here early. I need to talk to you about something."

_Oh great, more "good news" for me?_

"Something came up and I had to change some things around…"

Penny felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. What could possibly go wrong now?


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the delay in updating. I had my wisdom teeth out this week, so I've been a bit preoccupied. Longer chapters to come later, but for now, enjoy!

* * *

Mikey sensed her fear. "Oh relax Penny, it's good news. I don't know if you heard, but Larissa called me this afternoon with some wonderful news."

_Oh yay. More good news for Larissa._

He continued. "She just got a national commercial for one of those funny insurance companies!"

_Bitch._

"That being said, her schedule is going to be all over the place for a little while, so she had to regretfully decline her role in this show."

_Go on…_

"So, we need to move some people around. I have a girl that will be just fine as Diana. So I was hoping you'd step up to be our Sarah."

"Omigosh really? I mean, yes of course. Anything for you, Mikey. Thank you so much!" Penny responded. Her bright smile faded for a second. "Let me ask you, was there a reason I wasn't cast as her the first time?"

"You were wonderful at your audition. But if you're asking for an honest opinion, I had a hard time seeing you as the romantic lead. You're very talented, but there wasn't much of a connection between you and the other male actors. I think it's just because you didn't know any of them; some others disagreed with me. But we think you'll be able to step up to the challenge."

"Oh, I was just really nervous. I can connect with men! Well, I mean I can portray that connection. And have real connections. I have a boyfriend now, so yeah. I can portray love and lust and… well I am in love. But yeah… I'll stop talking." Penny was far too nervous and excited to be coherent.

Mikey laughed, "Relax Penny, the role is yours. And we're not worried about you. Just concentrate on your ability to romantically connect with men that aren't your boyfriend. The audience needs to believe it, that's all. Here, take your script" He handed Penny the booklet.

Penny took a deep breath and took her script. "Okay will do. I'm so excited. Thanks again!"

She skipped off to her car clutching her script.

_I can't believe this is really happening. I'm the lead! Oh my GOSH! I've got to get home and practice..._

Penny bolted home and ran up the stairs to the fourth floor. She immediately turned toward 4A and placed her hand on the door handle. She could hear laughter and conversation on the other side of the door, but hesitated anyway. For a brief moment, she thought about how happy and grateful she was to have these people in her life and good news to share with them. She finally opened the door and interrupted their chatter.

"Hey guys, guess what?" Penny asked, eagerly.

The gang stopped talking and looked toward the door.

"That was fast. You got your script already?" Bernadette asked.

Sheldon looked up. He thought about answering Penny's "guessing game" question, but dismissed it since he learned that "guess what" was merely an expression rather than an invitation.

Penny flashed the group a huge smile. "You won't believe this, but I'm actually going to be Sarah after all!"

A sea of "congrats" came from the group.

"Did they change their minds after being captivated by your ravishing beauty and golden locks?" Amy asked.

"No no no. The girl they originally asked to play Sarah got some sort of fancy commercial and had to back out. So being that I was their obvious next choice, they asked me to play her!"

Everyone continued to congratulate Penny, making her feel pretty good about herself.

"And this time, everyone better come. No excuses." Everyone nodded and agreed, except Sheldon.

"Sheldon, you're coming too." Penny said, sternly.

"I can't make it." He responded.

"I haven't even told you when it is yet."

Sheldon looked up. "Okay, when is it?"

"August 10th-17th at the Pasadena Theater." She answered.

"I can't make it." Sheldon reiterated.

"And why not?" Penny asked.

"I don't want to."

"SHELDON! You're coming. End of story." Penny responded. Dealing with Sheldon reminded her everyday why she didn't want to have kids.

"Sheldon, since her play will be taking place for multiple evenings, I propose we make one of those our date night." Amy said.

Sheldon didn't feel like fighting with either of the women tonight. "Fine. Did you know that…"

Penny cut Sheldon off before he began one of his 'interesting factoids.'

"Alright on that note, I'm going to start looking at my lines. Thanks everybody!" And with that, she skipped off to her own apartment.

Sheldon stared at the door for a second, slightly annoyed that she cut him off and slightly perplexed at her drastic mood change with the news of her new role. He'd seen her excited about things before, but something seemed different this time. He shrugged it off and didn't think about it again for the rest of the night.

Penny threw herself on her couch and began reading through the script. The further she got, the more she was captivated by the storyline. Like Sheldon had pointed out, it wasn't flawlessly written. But it triggered her emotions more than a trashy romance novel. When she got toward the end of Act I, she smiled at the thought of playing such a dynamic character. She would go from typical naïve college girl to an emotional, love-struck woman. And this woman wasn't dating a boy, she was dating a man. Even though Leonard's an adult, and quite possibly one of the smartest people Penny knew, he still had a boyish charm about him. He wasn't overly sophisticated and artsy, but that didn't bother her. Heck, she wasn't exactly a class act herself. But the professor was. She had two weeks to sort through her emotions before the first rehearsal, which meant she'd have to start rehearsing on her own.

_I'm really going to have to work on this. I know the girls offered to help, but I don't know if they know enough about acting to be completely honest with me. Heck, Amy worships me. I can't imagine her telling me I did something wrong. _

Penny thought about her options.

_Ah crap, I'm going to need Sheldon again._


	7. Chapter 7

Penny knew she was setting herself up for a summer of being Sheldon's personal driver. And she knew the minute Raj got wind of the fact that she needed Sheldon's help, she'd be driving Sheldon to work too. Of course Amy drives him places, but with her own work schedule, she's hardly at his beck and call.

Penny looked down at her script. She wanted to be better. She needed to be better. She needed to make Sarah come alive the way she did in her own mind.

As her many acting classes taught her, the first step to identifying with a character was learning about the character, either through research or developing a backstory for them. It's easier to act like someone when you actually know who they are. From the text, Penny knew some basics about her upbringing. She was born in the suburbs of Philadelphia. She was pretty smart and went to college on a partial scholarship. And she dated some guy in high school on and off for two years.

_Not exactly my life…_

Sarah seemed enamored by the professor for a few reasons. For starters, he was extremely knowledgeable in his field. Sarah respected him in a way she never respected her other teachers. More so, he didn't boast about it. He didn't speak in a presumptuous manner. He came across as your normal, attractive male with a keen sense of humor and an infectious smile. But he'd be hard-pressed to lose in a battle of wits. They had a clear connection, and against Sarah's better judgment, she allowed this connection to supersede the forbidden student/teacher relationship. He stood in front of her, lecturing to a room of 50 students, and yet she'd forget that he was her professor.

At the end of the play, they didn't end up together, but Sarah clearly learned to look at the world as an adult. She learned that it's not enough to just want something; you need to look at the road ahead and be smart about what may try to stop you in your pursuit.

_God, I would have killed to be as smart as her at that age. Instead, I followed a jerk and ended up alone with a dead-end job. Granted I'm not alone now, so it all worked out for the better. It just took me a lot longer to get here. And I still don't have a real job. Maybe the show will get a decent review and help me get my name out there. It's just a local theater, but you never know._

Penny thought about Sarah's past for a moment. Perhaps meeting someone essentially "better" than her lowered her self-confidence. No, it didn't seem like a confidence issue. Maybe she just generally became obsessed with him in a creepy, Hollywood fashion. Penny chuckled. Sarah was too well grounded to go crazy like that. Maybe Sarah was used to getting her way and became obsessed with the professor since he was unobtainable.

_Yes. I like it. She pursued him because she knew it was taboo. She knew it would be amazing, and yet almost impossible to pull off. Sarah had to have him because she couldn't bear the idea of not having him. _

Penny liked having a motive behind some of Sarah's "bat-crap" crazy scenes. She rolled over on the couch and looked at her clock.

_9:02pm. I bet Sheldon has just thrown everyone out. Perhaps now is a good time to ask him._

Penny got up and ran across the hall. For the first time in a while, she knocked. Sheldon answered the door, slightly baffled by seeing Penny.

"Can I help you?" He asked.

"Yeah I need to ask you something, can I come in?"

Sheldon normally would have said something about her interrupting his preparation for bed, but he didn't want to chastise her on a night when she was actually being polite.

"Alright." He said, as he motioned for her to enter the apartment. He closed the door behind her and walked to his spot to sit down.

Penny sat down on the other end of the couch. "So you know how you helped me run lines for my audition the other day?"

"It was exactly 5 days ago, but go on." He responded.

"Well, I was hoping that you could continue to help me. You know, read lines with me a few times a week and help me work on my character."

Before Sheldon could respond, Penny continued. "In return, I'll drive you to whatever when I'm not working. It'll be fun! What do you say?"

"I'm not sure I want you driving me to 'whatever' as you call it, but I'm guessing you're suggesting an exchange: My assistance with your work for your vehicular services. A sort of 'tit for tat', if you will."

"Yes! That's exactly what I mean. What do you say?" Penny asked again.

"I'm confused. You already drive me to the grocery store, the train store, most recently the comic book store…"

"Yes, I'm aware Sheldon."

"So you're asking me to do you a favor in exchange for something you already do. Hardly seems beneficial for me to accept." He responded.

"Alright, look. I need your help with this. I can't ask the girls because my problem is with connecting with male actors. How about this… I'll get my car fixed if you agree to help me." Penny suggested.

_That's not going to be cheap._

"How often am I going to have to put up with this charade?" Sheldon asked.

"I don't know, at least the next two weeks until rehearsals start up. Then we'll take it from there. We can start Wednesday night. Now that Halo night is on hiatus until Leonard gets back, we have plenty of time."

"Alright, fine. Wednesday night." He reluctantly responded.

"Thank you so much! How about we do dinner first? I'll make your famous spaghetti with the hot dogs." Penny suggested.

Sheldon nodded. "That would be acceptable. You should consider comparing recipes with Amy beforehand."

"Comparing recipes? Why? It's just spaghetti."

"Yes, but Amy's is far less crunchy. I suggest you inquire about her cooking techniques."

Penny glared at Sheldon. "Gee thanks."

"No problem. It's late; you can show yourself out." He responded before retreating to his bedroom.

_This seemed like a much better idea before he opened that hole in his face._

Penny walked back to her apartment.

_Now I have to get my car fixed too? I'm going to have to pay a couple hundred dollars for his services essentially. I should have just hired a real actor…_


	8. Chapter 8

Penny got up Tuesday morning and looked up a nearby auto repair shop online. She called and made an appointment for lunchtime since she had to work that evening. She then went through her internet bookmarks and looked at the shoes she wanted to get.

_Ugh, I'm sorry we have to say goodbye before we meet pretty shoes, but this month I have to spend my money on my stupid car. Maybe if it's not too expensive I can get one pair of you..._

She proceeded to shower and get ready. She decided to bring her script with her to read while they were working on her car. $479.00 later and Penny was on her way home. At the first red light, she laughed as she pulled the happy face sticker off her dashboard.

_I guess it is nice to have the light off for good. Maybe my engine will finally stop dying on me._

For the rest of the afternoon, she ran some errands and went about her day. Upon arriving at the Cheesecake Factory for work, she was greeted by her most loyal customers shortly thereafter. This time, Bernadette and Amy were with them; a rare site.

"Hey guys. Bernadette, did you miss this place so much that you had to come here on your day off?" Penny said while smirking.

"No, I just thought I'd come with Howie since Amy wanted to come with Sheldon." Bernadette responded.

"Sort of an impromptu double date, if you will." Amy added.

"Hey, I'm right here. The fifth wheel with no date..." Raj said.

"Don't worry Raj. It's not a date. We're just all out as friends." Bernadette corrected.

"Okay, well, you guys ready to order?" Penny asked.

They proceeded to order their usuals, despite the girls not having a set usual. When Penny came back with their food, Amy spoke up.

"So Penny, Sheldon informs me that he will be your acting coach for the next two weeks in preparation for your new role."

"Well, I'm not sure I'd call him my coach. He's just helping me run lines. I need to practice connecting with my male counterpart in the show. And since I won't get to interact with him for a while, I figured I'll practice with Sheldon. Plus it'll give me a head start with memorizing my lines."

Amy looked over at Sheldon. "Maybe when you're not with Penny, you can use those titillating romance excerpts with me..."

Sheldon sighed. "See what I'm putting up with for you Penny. I trust that you're getting your engine fixed in the immediate future."

"Oh I almost forgot, I did that this afternoon. Of course I won't be able to get any shoes for a while, but yeah. The stupid light is gone now and my car works fine."

Sheldon nodded. "Thank you Penny. I'm impressed you fulfilled your end of the bargain so quickly."

Penny smiled and gave everyone their meals. "Enjoy!" She said as she went back toward the kitchen.

Amy looked back to Sheldon. "I trust that your late night rendezvous won't interfere with our date night this week."

"Hardly. There's only so much of this hogwash I can tolerate." He responded.

"Perhaps I can join you for one of your practices. I'd be interested in seeing you portray a sexy college professor untamed by his own lust of my buxom bestie." Amy said.

Sheldon sighed again. "Hoh boy..."

* * *

The next day, Penny was jarred awake by Sheldon's tedious knocking bright and early in the morning. Begrudgingly, Penny made her way to the door.

"Sheldon, what the hell? This better be good."

"I'm sorry Penny, but I need a ride." Sheldon answered.

"Now? Seriously?"

"Yes. Raj can't drive me to work today, and being that our quid pro quo arrangement stated that you'd drive me to various locations in a fully functioning vehicle in return for our acting sessions, you need to drive me to work." He responded.

Penny was suddenly regretting her previous agreement to this arrangement. "Fine, let me get my shoes."

She grabbed her keys slowly and walked down the stairs behind Sheldon.

"I don't suppose you can start going to work at 11:30 for the next few weeks." Penny asked.

Sheldon looked at Penny with raised eyebrows and his classic look of haughty derision. "No."

"Well, it was worth a shot…" Penny continued.

Per usual, Sheldon rambled on about absolutely nothing important (as far as Penny was concerned) during the car ride. When she got back to her apartment, she collapsed on her bed. She made sure to turn off her phone first so there would be no more interruptions.

Around noon, Penny rolled over and looked at her clock.

_Ugh I usually don't feel this out of it without drinking first._

She finally managed to crawl out of bed and get ready for the day. She spent her afternoon running various errands, making sure to stop at the grocery store for spaghetti, sauce, and hot dogs.

That evening, or as Sheldon calls it, "prevening," Penny started making dinner. She flipped over the box of spaghetti and read the directions for the first time.

_Okay so maybe I don't usually cook it long enough. And apparently I'm supposed to add salt to the water first._

After the 12 minutes of cooking, as designated by the box, Penny drained the spaghetti and grabbed a strand to taste.

_Oh that is better…_

She went about finishing the meal and served it up in a ceramic serving dish that her mom gave her a while ago. She hoped it tasted as good as it looked.

Penny took the dish and her script across the hall, once again knocking on the door like a polite dinner guest.

Sheldon answered. "Oh Penny, right on time. Come on in."

Penny walked in and set the serving dish on the kitchen island. Sheldon followed her to inspect her work.

"Looks acceptable. Smells good too. Thank you Penny. Did you speak to Amy prior to preparing dinner?" Sheldon asked.

"No, but I read the box this time. Just try some, it taste better, I promise." Penny responded.

The two of them sat down with their plates of spaghetti and enjoyed their dinner. Sheldon commended her on her improvement. They watched some television for a little while, and when the two of them were done and the plates were cleared, Penny picked up her script.

"Okay, let's run through Act I Scene II. This is one of the more romantic scenes, which is apparently where I need work."

Sheldon picked up the copy of the scene Penny brought him.

Penny stood up and moved to the open space in front of the coffee table. "Sheldon, come stand over here. We're going to try moving around while we're acting. You don't have to adlib or anything. Just go with whatever the stage directions say."

Sheldon looked at the script. "It says I'm wearing a leather jacket. Penny, I don't have a leather jacket."

"It doesn't matter, even the real actors don't rehearse in costume until tech week. Just read from your first line on the 2nd page. Sarah's walking down the hall and walks by Tim's office. Go."

Sheldon stood up a little straighter and started to read. _"Oh, hello Miss Meadows. Fancy seeing you here."_

_"Hello Dr. Collingsworth. I was just turning in a paper down the hall. Thought I'd say hi."_

Sheldon did his breathy laugh since the stage directions told him to chuckle. _"Well, I only saw you about two hours ago, but I always enjoy your company. Come on in."_

_"Well I enjoy your company as well. This is a really nice office. How long did you have to work here to get this?" _Penny read.

_"Not very long actually. I've been a professor here for the past five years and got the office my second year. A case of good ol' fashioned right place, right time situation."_

Penny walked toward Sheldon's desk. _"Oh nice picture. Is this your…. wife?"_

Sheldon stopped reading. "Penny, it says we're looking at a picture frame. There's no picture frame on my desk."

She looked up. "Just pretend, I'm not going to run around fetching props every time we have to run through a scene."

He resumed reading. _"Oh no, that's my sister, Anne. I'm not married."_

_"Oh, interesting. I'm surprised." She said._

_"Well I'm quite busy. Students aren't the only ones with a compact schedule." He replied._

_"Well I'm sure you'll meet someone special. You'll be able to make time for the right person."_

_"I'm not sure this is something I should be discussing with you Sarah. No offense."_

_"I'm sorry. I just thought that since we're both adults here, we could just talk..." _Penny tried her best to look at Sheldon in an endearing manner.

_"I suppose. I apologize for jumping on you like that."_

Penny walked closer to Sheldon._ "You never have to apologize to me. I think we should keep talking tomorrow. Can I come a little early? So I don't interrupt the rest of your office hours? I'll bring my last paper."_

Sheldon seemed irked by Penny taking up more of his personal space. _ "I'm always open to helping my students with their assignments."_

_"Great, then I'll see you then, doctor."_

Penny snapped back to herself. "Oh that was fun. What did you think? Do you think I was connecting with you?"

Sheldon sighed. "Well, you made me feel increasingly uncomfortable, so I suppose so."

"You're not supposed to feel uncomfortable. You're supposed to feel like you're being hit on by some college girl and you're trying not to be enticed by her." Penny responded.

"Penny, I promised to help, but I guarantee I'm not able to give you expert advice on interpersonal relationships."

_This is going to be a long night._


	9. Chapter 9

"Sheldon, focus. We need to get through a lot more before you kick me out tonight. Skip to the page before the end Act I, Scene II. I'll start with my line at the top." Penny said.

Sheldon flipped through the pages of his script. "Penny, how exactly is this an effective way to learn your lines? You can barely get through one page before you flip through the book willy-nilly."

"I'm not trying to learn my lines, Sheldon. I'm trying to improve my acting. And it's best to use certain scenes for that. C'mon, just stay with me here."

"I'm not the one with the inability to focus, but alright." He responded. Penny rolled her eyes and looked down at her script.

"Ok now we're walking around outside. It's night time and the campus is pretty quiet." Penny explained. _"Wow, I've always wanted to go to France. I can only imagine what Paris is like at night."_

_"It's breathtaking. Day or night. But you haven't seen anything until you've tagged along with your rich friends for a yacht ride in the south of France." _Sheldon seemed relaxed in his reading. He was getting the hang of acting, since as of lately, his superhero movies included more and more romantic plotlines.

_"Oh my gosh, I envy your life. You make Europe sound incredibly romantic." _She gushed as she lightly knocked into his shoulder. Sheldon knew she was acting, but still glared at her for the unnecessary touching.

_"With the right person, it can be." He replied._

Penny smiled as if she was blushing. _"Well, then I'll just have to go there with the right person sometime…"_

_"And when you find him, you'll feel like you're there every…" _Sheldon stopped reading abruptly. "Penny, I hope you understand that I'm not comfortable engaging in the activities dictated by your 'stage directions.' Here it says he touches her hand. The next line has him touching her face and, oh lord, kissing. They might as well engage in coitus in the middle of the field."

"Ugh, no Sheldon. I'm sorry if I invade your personal space by touching your shoulder. But I won't be touching your face and trying to kiss you. Believe me, there's no acting job generous enough…"

Sheldon was glad to hear that Penny wasn't going to get carried away with her acting, yet felt mildly insulted by Penny's outright disgust for him. As he said once, 'you'd be lucky to land a fellow like me.'

Penny picked up on the fact that Sheldon realized her earlier comment was a bit insulting. "You know what I mean. We're friends and we're dating each other's best friends. I'm not THAT much of a slut."

Sheldon nodded. "Alright then." He cleared his throat and read on. _"And when you find him, you'll feel like you're there every night. Everyone around you becomes another star in the sky."_

_"Well, Dr. Collingsworth, you paint quite the picture." _She responded.

_"Call me Tim."_

_"Alright, Tim. You paint quite the picture."_

_"It's easy when I have such a stunning muse." _At this point in the script, the characters kiss for the first time. Penny spoke up to ease Sheldon's awkwardness.

"Ok, here they kiss, blah blah, romantic crap. Read the next line after that."

_"Wow." _He said.

_"Wow indeed." _She responded.

_"This was nice. It's late, and I need to head home. But, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow."_

_"I wouldn't miss it for the world." _Penny smiled. Just reading through this script made her feel like she just watched a romantic chick flick. "Ahhhh I just love this part, it's so sweet. It just makes you feel so…"

"Nauseated." Sheldon said.

"NO, not nauseated. Come on Sheldon, you have a girlfriend. I'm sure you say sweet things to her SOMETIMES. Just because you're afraid to sleep with her doesn't mean you don't emotionally connect." Penny said.

"I suppose. But I certainly don't gush about fictitious trips to France. Amy did find the relationship agreement to be quite the romantic gesture, as did I. People don't give me enough credit."

"I'm just saying, you can learn something from this."

"I hardly think so Penny. I understand most things about the universe and I don't foresee any original insight coming from your play." Sheldon crossed his arms and looked down at Penny.

"Anyway, I'm just asking that you don't get huffy every time I touch your arm or something. I just need to practice my male interactions. I'll save the mushy stuff for the real actor in two weeks, don't worry."

"Will you wash your hands first?" He asked.

"If I have to." She replied. Penny sighed. This whole endeavor was like pulling teeth with Sheldon.

He raised his eyebrows and looked sternly at her. Penny realized that was her cue to go wash her hands. When she returned to the living room, Sheldon eased up and returned to the script.

Penny spoke up. "Ok, do that last part with me again, but this time, at least pretend you're the professor and you're interested in Sarah. It'll be easier for me if I feel like you're committed to the role."

"Penny, what do you think I've been doing for the last 33 minutes?" Sheldon asked.

"Well, try harder. Come on." She responded. Sheldon looked down at his script and waited for Penny.

_"Oh my gosh, I envy your life. You make Europe sound incredibly romantic." _She smiled and playfully leaned into Sheldon.

_"With the right person, it can be." He replied._

_"Well, then I'll just have to go there with the right person sometime…"_

Sheldon looked Penny right in the eyes._ "And when you find him, you'll feel like you're there every night. Everyone around you becomes another star in the sky."_

Penny felt an odd chill down her spine. It completely threw her off her game to hear words like that coming from Sheldon's mouth without him reading a script. She stuttered and forgot what she was supposed to do next.

"Is there a problem, Penny?" He asked.

She gulped. "No, that was really good. It just threw me that you didn't have to read that line."

Sheldon smirked. "I have an eidetic memory. I find it ironic that you keep forgetting that fact."

Penny laughed. Sheldon's boasting was enough to bring her back to reality. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'll keep going." She looked back down at her lines.

_"Well, Dr. Collingsworth, you paint quite the picture." _She responded.

_"Call me Tim."_

_"Alright, Tim. You paint quite the picture."_

_"It's easy when I have such a stunning muse." _He said. Again, Penny felt a shiver in her spine. She really wished Sheldon would look at his script. Apparently his acting was too convincing when he wasn't reading. She smiled and laughed at her absurd reaction to the situation.

"Penny, I know we've already established your lack of concentration, but I don't understand why you insist on prolonging this session with your incessant giggling." Sheldon said.

"I'm sorry Sheldon, I think I'm just tired. Do you mind if we end here tonight? We'll pick this up tomorrow." Penny replied.

"Tomorrow is my date night with Amy. We're attending a seminar at the university featuring guest lecturer…"

"Yeah yeah yeah, some science guy I've never heard of. Let me know when you get home and we'll squeeze in a quick session. Please Sheldon, I have like a week and a half left here."

Sheldon sighed. "Fine, but this weekend you drive me to the grocery store."

"Whatever. I don't care. Just don't forget about tomorrow." Before Sheldon could respond, Penny stopped him. "Yes I know, you don't forget anything, sorry. I'll see you then. Thank you!" She said as she grabbed her serving dish from the kitchen and left the apartment.

Penny walked into her kitchen to wash the spaghetti dish and began to replay the events of this evening. She was completely enamored with the words of Dr. Collingsworth. Although it freaked her out the way she froze when those words came from Sheldon.

_Maybe because he's so honest in his day to day life, it just freaked me out to hear him essentially lying by speaking someone else's words. Maybe I just never imagined he had the emotional complexity to handle a love story. Maybe I'm just jealous that he could commit to his character more in 5 minutes than I could to mine in a week. No wonder Amy's so smitten with Sheldon. She must fall for everything he says, granted he actually says nice things to her. Ugh, I need to stop this. There's no point in trying to analyze their relationship._

Penny decided to channel her romantic energy into a love letter to send to Leonard.

_I probably just miss him a lot. Not probably; I do miss him. I love him. I need to tell him that, then I'll feel better and get some sleep tonight._

She sat down with her laptop and began to type away.

_I feel better already._


	10. Chapter 10

Penny woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. She managed to feel much more relaxed than when she went to bed. After writing to Leonard, she realized that she's been so used to his constant attention that even Sheldon saying something nice to her churned her stomach. She rolled over and checked her cell phone to see if she got any texts or emails.

_Nothing._

She figured Leonard was busy, and with extremely limited internet access, it might be a while before he received her email. Nevertheless, he'd be tickled pink to receive it.

She got out of bed and got ready for work. Her shift was long and tedious, per usual, so she texted the girls periodically to keep herself amused.

Occasionally, her mind wandered back to her show, and more importantly, her rehearsals with Sheldon. She was really hoping she'd be used to their forced romantic verbiage by tonight. This whole thing made Penny wish Leonard was still around, since then loneliness would no longer be a factor in her bizarre behavior.

She got to her apartment around dinner time and dove into some pasta she brought back from the restaurant. She knew she'd be eating alone since Sheldon and Amy were out at some silly lecture. Penny grabbed her script and started flipping through Act II. The context was a bit heavier since they were already dating and facing issues with their student teacher relationship. Parts of it were romantic, and parts had some drama and anger.

Penny laughed to herself. She thought about the old days, where she was just the aloof neighbor next door and Sheldon was a socially awkward loner. They've really come a long way. A few years ago, he wouldn't even have contemplated running lines with her for a show, especially one that didn't have to do with science fiction or whatever. Conversely, she would have never asked for his help, since it would probably hinder the process rather than help her improve.

After she finished her pasta, she looked at her phone to check the time. 7:14pm. She figured Amy and Sheldon would return around 8:30.

_Hopefully, Amy will drop Sheldon off at the door and not bother to come up here with him._ _Of course, I like hanging out with Amy, but I don't have time for her tonight. I have things to do. I have rehearsing to do. I really don't need any more distractions tonight. Or maybe I do need distractions. Maybe if Amy is there, I won't be caught up in the plot. Although isn't that what I want? To get in character and engage with male actors better? _

Penny was giving herself a headache with all of her over-thinking. She plopped down on the couch and watched a rerun of America's Next Top Model. She checked the clock every few minutes, but tried to focus on the show to speed up time.

_Come on, why isn't it 8:30 yet._

At 8:00, she turned off the TV and started reading through the scene she wanted to rehearse with Sheldon tonight.

She started to feel awkward reading the lines with sexual references. She could picture Sheldon complaining about the context at every turn, but she read on. Her excitement for the role dwindled as she worried about her rehearsal schedule.

_I suppose I don't have to rehearse with Sheldon. I can always just wait until my actual rehearsals start and just improve with Cole. It's not like they're going to fire me. They can't do that, right? I'm not paid or anything._

Penny realized she was too insecure to go into her real rehearsals with her inability to portray true romance. This is why she set up these meetings with Sheldon in the first place.

_If I can convince an audience I'm attracted to Sheldon, I can do anything._

Penny smiled and went back to her script. She tried to memorize some of her lines to compete with Sheldon's eidetic memory. She knew he'd have his lines down after his first read through, so it would probably help her skills if she could match his eye contact.

At 8:32, Penny heard the door at 4A open and shut. She didn't hear any hallway conversation, so she took that to mean Amy didn't come upstairs with him. Penny grabbed her script and ran across the hall. She frantically knocked in Sheldon fashion.

He answered the door quickly. "Hello Penny, right on time. I just arrived home."

"Yeah I know, I heard your door." Penny took a deep breath. "So, did you have fun rehearsing with me last night?"

Sheldon thought about it for a second. "Aside from the script being tedious and redundant, I did find the overall experience to be quite enjoyable. Pretending to be somebody else helps me enjoy being myself even more." Penny shook her head.

_Yeah, only Sheldon would love himself even more after reading for Tim._

"Great. I'm glad you liked it. So today, I want to try a scene from Act II. Here, Sarah and Tim are having some trouble." She said.

"What kind of trouble? Digestive trouble? Trouble with work?" Sheldon asked.

"No, trouble with their relationship. They have to keep the whole thing quiet since he's her professor, but they keep fighting about it because Sarah feels like he's embarrassed by her."

"I can't imagine why." Sheldon said sarcastically.

Penny flashed him a dirty look. "Come on, I want to get through this scene more than once before you throw me out tonight." She looked down at her script. _"Dammit Tim, you didn't have to push me into your office like that. There was nobody out there. And even so, I'm allowed to come to your office whenever I want. I'm still in your class."_

Sheldon cleared his throat. _"I didn't push you. I just didn't want to be loitering in the hallway. It's nobody else's business what we talk about."_

_"You already told me you can't get fired for dating me, so what's the big secret? Why can't you even be seen with me anymore? Do you have some secret girlfriend elsewhere or something?"_

_"Sarah, listen to me. I really like you, but the last thing I need right now is everyone thinking I'm sleeping with my students." _He yelled. Penny was a bit impressed that he put that much inflection in the line.

_"So that's it? I'm just one of your students?! And for crying out loud, what does sex have to do with any of this? Is that all I am to you? A good time?" _She yelled back. She was really getting into this scene. Maybe this rehearsing with Sheldon would pay off after all.

_"What do you want from me? I'm trying really hard here to make everyone happy." He replied._

_"You know what? Maybe you just can't handle a relationship. Maybe I'm too good for you!" _She yelled. At that moment, she followed her stage directions and went to push Sheldon with both hands.

He intercepted her push by grabbing both her wrists and looking her square in the eyes. _"Or maybe I understand what it takes to make a real relationship work. This isn't a movie Sarah. If you want to be together, you have to trust me. We can't run around like we're teenagers."_

Penny's eyes went wide. She didn't expect Sheldon to actually grab her wrists. And damn that memory of his.

_"You need to earn my trust. And going out of your way to hide us from the rest of the world isn't going to help." _She said timidly.

Sheldon tightened his grip._ "I'm not hiding you. I'm protecting you, and I'm protecting us. Just trust me, and I'll be the man you've always wanted."_

She blinked a few times, adjusting her vision to the site in front of her. Penny froze, speechless.


	11. Chapter 11

Sheldon quickly released his grip and held his hands stiff like he just touched something disgusting.

"I sure hope you washed your hands after work this evening." He said.

"Huh? Yeah, of course." She answered. She was still blinking oddly.

"I must say Penny, you are already more convincing as an actress. Kudos."

"Oh, thanks. So, how did you know those lines so well? We haven't rehearsed that scene before." She asked.

"You emailed me the script. With the trivial language and predictive plot line, it didn't take long. Besides, you said these sessions were interaction oriented with limited focus on learning the lines. Therefore, I read them over ahead of time to facilitate the process. You're welcome." He said in his typical, cocky tone.

Penny laughed awkwardly. "Oh gee, thanks. You're getting really good at this too. You've mastered his character in a day."

Sheldon walked over to the sink. "Penny, you seem surprised. I assured you a long time ago that I could master the craft in two sessions."

She rubbed her left wrist like she just had handcuffs removed. Sheldon looked over at her, a bit horrified. He washed his hands quickly and rushed over to her.

"Oh God, I hurt you! My apologies. I saw that you were going to push me and the script said I was supposed to block you. Naturally, I was going to ignore all that tomfoolery, but if there was going to be unnecessary touching, I might as well engage in the character." Sheldon said.

Penny looked down at her subconscious movements. "What? Oh, yeah I'm fine. It didn't really hurt, I promise."

"Are you sure? I have bandage wraps in the bathroom." He replied.

She laughed. "No, I'm fine. It was just a reaction."

Sheldon let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness. My mother taught me that a true gentleman would never hurt a lady. And if I ever did she'd hunt me so fast my head would spin, metaphorically speaking."

Penny smiled. "You consider me a 'lady'?"

"I suppose I don't know for sure, but your physical appearance and demeanor suggest so. Although with your masculine hands, broad shoulders, and recently effeminate taste in men, I suppose anything's possible."

She puffed out her lips and gave Sheldon a sideways glance. "Gee, thanks."

"For what?" He asked.

"Never mind. Let's start over and try this again. You don't have to touch me, if you don't want." Penny was extremely aware of the fact she just said 'if you don't want.'

_Penny, snap out of it. That was the creepiest thing you've ever said. You're essentially asking Sheldon if he wants to touch you. Why the hell does it sound more sexual the more I repeat it? I need a cold shower._

"Thank you. When you're ready Penny." He said. Penny noted that his script was on the coffee table.

_Seriously starting to hate his memory._

"Ok, same scene." She said. _"Dammit Tim, you didn't have to push me into your office like that. There was nobody out there. And even so, I'm allowed to come to your office whenever I want. I'm still in your class."_

_"I didn't push you. I just didn't want to be loitering in the hallway. It's nobody else's business what we talk about." _Sheldon said. Penny smiled at the slight southern accent in his voice.

_Stop that Penny. You're turning into a psycho._

Sheldon stared at Penny. "It's your turn Penny."

"Right, sorry." She responded._ "You already told me you can't get fired for dating me, so what's the big secret? Why can't you even be seen with me anymore? Do you have some secret girlfriend elsewhere or something?"_

_"Sarah, listen to me. I really like you, but the last thing I need right now is everyone thinking I'm sleeping with my students."_

_"So that's it? I'm just one of your students?! And for crying out loud, what does sex have to do with any of this? Is that all I am to you? A good time?" _Penny started to tear up. Maybe she was learning to emotionally connect after all.

"Oooh tears. Nice touch Penny." Sheldon said. _"What do you want from me? I'm trying really hard here to make everyone happy."_

_"You know what? Maybe you just can't handle a relationship. Maybe I'm too... good… for you…" _She choked out. She put her hand up to her mouth like she wanted to hide her emotions. Then Penny remembered she was supposed to push Sheldon. She slowly put her hand on Sheldon's chest. He would have blocked her, but he was baffled by her motions, which were clearly outside of the spectrum of the stage directions.

Sheldon looked down at his chest to see Penny resting her hand. He looked back at her. "Penny, what are you doing? You're supposed to push me. We established that you didn't have to make physical contact with me whatsoever for the purpose of this rehearsal, but we certainly never agreed to you substituting said push with a prolonged resting of your hand on my chest."

Penny retracted her arm quickly_._ "Sorry. It just felt really weird to be angry at you at that moment. I felt like I couldn't push you."

"Which is why we established there didn't need to be any touching whatsoever. Come on Penny, pay attention!"

"I guess you're right. Okay. I can do this." She took a deep breath._ "You know what? Maybe you just can't handle a relationship. Maybe I'm too good for you." _The last words barely escaped her lips.

_"Or maybe I understand what it takes to make a real relationship work. This isn't a movie Sarah. If you want to be together, you have to trust me. We can't run around like we're teenagers."_

Penny put down her script. "Sheldon, can I ask you something?"

"We're stopping again? Penny, you're never going to finish a scene if you keep interrupting yourself."

"I was just wondering. Did you understand the last thing you said?" She asked.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I understood what I said. That's why I said it. By interrupting your lines with your own jibber jabber, you're just preventing yourself from…"

"Not that. Did you understand the last line you read? And by read I mean recited from memory."

"What do you mean?" Sheldon asked.

"You know, the whole thing about what it takes to make real relationships work."

Sheldon tilted his head a bit. "Are you asking for my advice in regards to relationships? You know I'm hardly an expert at such. But from what I can surmise, Professor Collingsworth is explaining to Sarah that he understands the paradigm of adult relationships, probably due to his age and experience in the subject matter. Furthermore, he believes that relationships are poorly demonstrated in movies. And since Sarah's experience with relationships mainly dates back to her teenage years, he recommends that she follow his instructions for maintaining their new 'adult' relationship."

Penny nodded. "Okay, fair enough. You do understand."

"Of course. I understand almost everything."

"I still feel like you don't understand what it's like to be in love, in lust, or just attracted to someone for no good reason at all." She said.

"There's a difference between understanding something and partaking in it. Sometimes one doesn't partake in an activity due to disinterest, not due to confusion."

Penny felt a bit sad. It upset her that he could place himself in the role of a lustful and passionate man, but still claim that he had no interest in becoming one. In a way she was jealous that he could separate himself from the character so easily.

"Okay, I'm sorry for all this. Say that last line again and we'll go from there."

Sheldon nodded._ "Or maybe I understand what it takes to make a real relationship work. This isn't a movie Sarah. If you want to be together, you have to trust me. We can't run around like we're teenagers."_

Penny raised her voice._ "You need to earn my trust. And going out of your way to hide us from the rest of the world isn't going to help." _

_"I'm not hiding you. I'm protecting you, and I'm protecting us. Just trust me, and I'll be the man you've always wanted."_

Acting or not, Penny heard the passion in his voice.

_I know you have it in you, Sheldon. You have desire and passion in you. What you call disinterest, I call fear. _

She looked down at her script and decided to keep going this time.

_"I can take care of myself, doctor. But for the record, you're already all the man I could ever want."_

Penny looked at Sheldon. For a brief second, she thought she saw a smile. A genuine smile.

_He's not THAT good of an actor, is he?_


	12. Chapter 12

You guys are awesome. Thank you for all the great feedback! This chapter is fairly short, but it wraps up this day finally. Enjoy!

* * *

"Well it took the better part of the past half hour, but congratulations. You finally managed to get through the entire scene." Sheldon said.

Penny let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, how about that? We got through the whole thing."

"Is there anything else I can assist you with this evening?" Sheldon asked.

_A cold shower and some cheap box wine._

"No, I'm fine. I'm good. Really good. I think we made some real progress tonight. With the play, that is." She said.

_Stop rambling Penny. Seriously._

"Oh good. You know, I think I'm getting pretty good at this myself. A skill set sure to come in handy with my day to day social interactions at the university." He said.

"Great. Just great." Penny looked down and fidgeted a bit. "Well, it's late, so you know. I'll show myself out. Um, ok yeah, thanks. Goodnight Sheldon."

"Goodnight Penny." He said as he retreated toward his bedroom.

Penny went back across the hall to her place and leaned up against her door.

_Get it together Penny. You should be happy that you're engaging in character. This has nothing to do with Sheldon._

She plopped down on her couch and opened her laptop. Still no emails. Her mind continued to wander about the events of this evening.

_I need to get out of character. I'm not Sarah. I'm not lusting after Professor Cooper. Dammit! Professor Collingsworth. Tim Collingsworth is the character. Sheldon Cooper is just the actor. And not even the real actor. Just a temporary actor._

"I've reallllllllly got to make sure I never mix those names up again." She said aloud to herself.

_I wonder if cold showers really work._

Penny got up and hurried into her bathroom. She turned on her shower without adjusting for hot water. She disrobed and jumped in as quickly as possible.

"HOLY CRAP THAT'S COLD!" She yelled as she immediately jumped back out. "Why the hell do people do that?"

_I suppose it did keep my mind off of things for a few seconds. But still, not fun at all._

She adjusted the water temperature and took a normal shower while singing Katy Perry songs to keep herself distracted and upbeat.

Fifteen minutes later, penny strolled back into her living room in her towel. She was still humming pop songs and dancing around. She went to grab her laptop when she heard a familiar sound.

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

She shrieked. Loudly. The last thing she expected to hear at this hour was Sheldon's knocking.

He quickly opened the door to see why she was screaming. Penny grabbed on to the top of her towel and looked toward Sheldon in horror. He immediately closed the door behind him and shielded his eyes from her.

"Sheldon! What the hell, I'm not dressed!" She yelled.

Still looking away from her, Sheldon spoke. "I'm sorry to disturb you Penny, but you left your script on the coffee table." He reached in her general direction with her script.

She exhaled. "Oh, thanks. I'm sorry for yelling. You scared the crap out of me." Penny took the script from Sheldon.

"For the record, Penny, if you are afraid of people entering your apartment while you are inappropriately dressed, might I suggest locking the door?" He replied.

"Yeah well, I'll work on that." She said. "I'm not naked, you don't have to cover your eyes. You've seen me in a towel before."

He put down his hand. Penny said it herself; Sheldon had seen her in a towel before, but today it felt like he wasn't looking AT her. He was looking THROUGH her.

She grasped the towel closure even harder. Sheldon just stared at her blankly, not knowing what to do next. "Thanks again, I appreciate it." She said.

"Of course. Goodnight Penny." Sheldon said. He bowed his head and left the apartment.

_That was really nice of him. Maybe all it took was the poetic words of Timothy Collingsworth to bring it out of him._

She practically skipped back to her bedroom and got ready for bed. Penny put on a cute pair of Hello Kitty pajama shorts and a skimpy tank top. She brushed her hair a bit and left it tousled, trying to look both sexy and sweet. She played in the mirror for about 15 minutes before throwing herself on her bed. She smiled and let out a happy sigh.

Penny tossed and turned for a bit and eventually fell asleep. She began to dream about opening night, staring out into a full audience, anxiously awaiting her performance. _Penny was on stage with Cole, about to enact the first love scene from the show. Cole's hair was soft and curly, and he seemed overly confident. Penny was doing a phenomenal job at acting like a young college student. All of a sudden, they got to the first stage kiss. Penny leaned forward and closed her eyes, kissing him softly, feeling the heat of his lips spread upon her own. When she opened her eyes, he was no longer Cole. She was staring at the face of Sheldon Cooper._

She immediately woke up and sat straight up in bed.

_Holy crap! What the hell dream was that?_

Penny's heart rate remained elevated and her throat went dry. She walked into the kitchen to get a water bottle. She took a sip as she walked into the living room to grab her laptop. If she was going to be wide awake and freaked out for a while, she might as well go on Facebook or something.

She opened up her laptop and saw she had 1 new email from Leonard. The letter was really sweet and appreciative. He told her about the trip and how he couldn't wait to be back in Penny's arms.

She half smiled, but felt oddly jarred by his kind words.

_Why do I feel so guilty?_


	13. Chapter 13

The next day, Penny woke up feeling more rested than she originally anticipated. The events of the previous night still weighed heavily on her mind, but she wasn't feeling as scared anymore.

_Well, my best friend is a neuroscientist, maybe she would know why my mind is totally screwing with me this week. I just won't tell her that it concerns her boyfriend._

Penny grabbed her cell phone and texted Amy, telling her to call her whenever she had a chance. Not surprisingly so, Amy called her within a minute.

"Hey Ames, I wanted to pick your scientist brain for a moment. Do you have some time?"

"Well I am at work, but I can always make time for my bestie. What's up?" Amy asked.

"So I have this friend, no one you know. And lately I've been feeling really weird around him. We're just friends, and I would never cheat on Leonard or anything, but I had this dream last night that I kissed him and it just freaked me out. I don't think I like him in a romantic way, I mean, I've known him for a long time and he hasn't exactly changed since the day I met him. I just feel like lately I'm noticing who he really is. What should I do?"

"Maybe you miss the intimacy previously provided by Leonard and you're transferring those feelings to your friend."

"I thought that at first, but then why wouldn't I be dreaming about Leonard?" Penny asked.

"Are you at all familiar with dream interpretation?"

"Sorta, but I don't think this one was very hard to figure out."

"Dreams aren't always as straightforward as they appear. For instance, kissing one's close friend could be a representation of one's adoration for said friend. You may be seeking some sort of closeness that lacks in your waking relationship." Amy explained.

Penny smiled. "That's brilliant Amy!"

"It's what I do." She replied.

"That makes perfect sense! I have been hanging out with him less. And just the other day I told him that I miss the way we used to hang out one on one. I bet that's all this is. I just miss spending time with him and I'm mistaking my increased affection as romantic feelings."

"Glad I could help. Now if you don't mind, I must go. One of the monkey's just found my exacto knife." Amy said.

"Ok go, thank you and I'll talk to you later!"

"Toodles!"

Penny hung up the phone and felt relieved. She finally had an explanation for her strange behavior. She rolled over and looked at her clock.

_It's only 10:45. Well, it's still morning. I might as well go get some coffee._

She walked into the kitchen and checked the fridge for milk.

_Seriously? I'm out again? I've really got to start keeping track of these things. Oh well, Sheldon's at work. I'll go borrow from him again._

Penny grabbed her emergency key and walked across the hall. She unlocked the door and walked in to 4A. She was greeted by a gasp as Sheldon jumped up from his desk chair.

"Good God woman, don't you ever knock?!" He yelled.

"I just needed milk for my coffee. What are you doing here anyways? Shouldn't you be at work?" Penny asked.

"I should be, but I'm not."

"Oooh, playing a little hookie are we?" Sheldon looked at Penny as if she was crazy. "Never mind. Why are you home then?"

"They're replacing the windows in my office." Sheldon replied.

"So?" Penny knew that question would receive a wordy, ridiculous answer.

He raised his eyebrows. "So, there will be people walking in and out of my office all day. Additionally, there will be no temperature or insect control in my office during the window replacing itself. I cannot work in a room with a gaping hole in the wall, so I am working from my laptop today." He explained.

Penny nodded. "Okay, fair enough. Listen, I had this dream last night, and I interpreted it to mean we don't really spend enough time together."

"Clearly, you've interpreted it incorrectly then, as you and I have been in each other's company several times this week."

"Okay, forgetting about my rehearsal sessions with you, we only hang out as a group now. Aside from stupid little errands you have me do since Leonard left."

Sheldon looked at Penny. He didn't quite understand why she was rambling about this when they've been spending more than enough time together this week. "What are you suggesting, Penny?"

"I'm just saying. We should do something. Oooh! I have a great idea. Ditch work today and you and I will have a day out together!" She said.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have a menial job that I can just 'ditch' at the drop of a hat. My work requires extensive research and thought, which can only be accomplished by complete and utter dedication to my field."

Penny smirked. "Even if we had lunch at a hot dog stand made from a converted railroad dining car?"

Sheldon's eyes went wide, like a child's. "Are you suggesting a train day?!"

"Only if you like having fun." She replied. Penny heard all about Sheldon's infamous train day from Leonard. She knew it was just the thing to drag him away from his desk. She was hoping that the day wouldn't be a boring mistake on her part.

Sheldon bounced up from his chair. "Oooh this will be great. I can never get Leonard or Amy to appreciate train day." He grabbed his jacket. "Are you ready to go?"

She laughed. "Give me a half hour. I need to shower real quick, then I'll come back over here and we'll go."

"Great. I'll print out a copy of our itinerary!" He went right back to his laptop.

_Worst case scenario, I'll remember who the real Sheldon is and be over this whole thing. _

Penny went back to her apartment to shower and get ready. When it came time to get dressed, she looked through her drawers and pulled out her audition outfit for Sarah.

_It's a nice day out. No reason why I can't wear a t-shirt and shorts. _

On some level, Penny knew that wearing her faux college outfit wasn't going to help the situation, but it's what she gravitated towards, so she just went with it.

She put her hair into a ponytail and grabbed her purse. Right on time, she knocked on Sheldon's door.

"Oh good, you're right on time. Wait till you see the fun we have in store today." Sheldon said. He looked like a 5 year old kid about to go to Disneyworld for the first time.

_Perhaps I should have suggested mini golf or something._

They got into Penny's car and looked at the itinerary. Sheldon directed her to their first stop using his phone's GPS. Sure enough, they arrived at a hot dog stand that looked like it used to be a train car. It was just about noon, so Penny decided to cave and eat lunch with him. Sheldon ordered his hot dog and chips with far too many preparation instructions.

Penny smirked. "I'll have the same." She said to the man taking their orders. Sheldon didn't seemed phased by it, but the staff wasn't thrilled. Sheldon reached for his wallet and handed the man a $20 bill. Penny thought about his actions for a moment.

"Sheldon, did you just pay for my food?"

"Yes." He responded. Short and to the point.

"You didn't have to do that. It's not like we're on a date or something." She replied.

_There you go again Penny. Stop it. Behave._

"We have a lot to accomplish today and a limited amount of time. Time better spent at the train museum rather than at this hot dog stand while lesser minds sort through two individual transactions. But in any event, you're welcome." He said.

_That was about the least romantic answer possible. Which I suppose is a good thing._

"Okay, then thanks." She grabbed her tray and sat down at a bench with Sheldon.

They starting eating their lunches. Sheldon momentarily stopped to speak. "We're in luck today, Penny. Tonight at Hollywood Carney's, our dinner stop, they have a fireworks display commemorating the anniversary of the day President Nixon signed the Rail Passenger Services Act."

"Oh boy… definitely a reason to celebrate. Yay trains…" She said sarcastically. Although she did like fireworks. The reasoning really didn't matter. Sometimes people put on fireworks displays for no real reason whatsoever.

_This might not be such a bad day. We're hanging out as friends. We're seeing the stuff he likes, making him both tolerable and true to himself. And tonight we get to see fireworks together. ACTUAL fireworks. Not romantic fireworks. _

Sheldon continued to eat his lunch. Penny stared off into the distance.

_I've got to stay focused. Just because he bought me lunch and is taking me to see fireworks does not mean we're on some weird date or something. And it wouldn't matter anyway. He has a girlfriend. That should so not be the deciding factor here…_

Despite slowly losing her appetite, Penny smiled and went back to eating her lunch.


	14. Chapter 14

After lunch, Penny and Sheldon got back in the car to head to their next stop.

"So Sheldon, tell me about this museum we're going to." Penny said.

"Oh, you're going to love it! The Travel Town Museum features 43 railroad engines, cars, and other rolling stock from the 1880s to the 1930s. It's outdoors, and focuses primarily on the history of railroad transportation in the western United States with an emphasis on railroading in Southern California and Los Angeles."

"Now if that's not a barrel of fun, I don't know what is." She replied. Again being quite sarcastic.

"Thank you. You know, I must say, I'm finding this recent attitude change toward my interests to be quite pleasurable."

_Pleasurable. That word struck a nerve._

Penny just smiled. When they got to the museum, she was pleasantly surprised by the vast size and collection of train memorabilia laid out in the outdoor museum.

"Wow, you train people really take this stuff seriously." She muttered.

Sheldon proceeded to jump from exhibit to exhibit, telling Penny all about whatever was in front of them with the utmost enthusiasm. Although it was kind of cute to see him so happy, all she heard was 'blah blah train blah blah railroad.'

"Oh now this one is a classic. Probably one of my favorite trains." Sheldon said, pointing out another exhibit.

_If I had a nickel every time he said that, I could probably buy both of us dinner for the next month._

She smiled nevertheless, and listened as if she cared. Six hours of a personalized train tour with tour guide Sheldon had her ready for dinner. Surprisingly, she found herself more comforted by his jibber-jabber than bored.

They got back into the car and drove to the second hot dog stand made from a converted train car. Penny was relieved that this one had a slightly bigger menu so she could order something else.

"Hey Sheldon, let me pay this time, you paid earlier." Penny said as she gazed upon the wall mounted menu.

"Alright, fair enough." He said. Once again, Sheldon ordered a complicated hot dog, although this one was different from last time. Penny didn't even bother keeping up with what he was saying.

"Yeah, I'll have the turkey and swiss on rye." She said to the attendant. Sheldon looked over at Penny questioningly.

"What? I didn't want to spend all day eating nothing but hot dogs." She explained.

"I understand. However, when we first met, you described yourself as a vegetarian with an odd attachment to steak. Lately it seems that you've discarded your self-imposed dietary restrictions. "

Penny laughed. "Vegetarian. Yep, that ship has sailed. When you spend most of your time mooching food from people, you stop caring about those kind of things."

They sat down with their respective dinners and looked around.

"This day has been absolutely delightful. I just wanted to say thank you, Penny." Sheldon said. He seemed so sincere, it blew Penny's mind a bit.

"Aw, you're welcome sweetie. It's beautiful outside today, we picked a good day for this." She replied.

"Indeed. And in approximately 47 minutes, the fireworks display commences."

She smiled as he continued to eat his dinner. She picked at her sandwich, eating enough of it to convince Sheldon she ate most of it.

_I probably should have gone with something else._

"Oh screw it, I'm getting cheese fries." She said as she went back in line. Sheldon stayed at the table. While Penny was waiting to place her order, she noticed Sheldon taking a phone call. He seemed pretty happy, so she assumed it was Amy. At one point, she even noticed him laugh. Penny felt a jealous twinge in the pit of her stomach.

_This is stupid Penny. You spend all day with him doing everything he loves. He was smiling from ear to ear since you suggested this outing. There is no reason to be jealous of him and Amy. You have a boyfriend that makes you laugh, he should be allowed to have a girlfriend that does the same for him._

She ordered her cheese fries and brought them back to their table.

"So, who was that on the phone?" She asked while chewing a mouthful of fries.

"That was Amy. She just got home from work and inquired about my whereabouts. I informed her that I 'ditched' work to spend a train day with you."

_Wow, there is no way that sounded good to Amy._

"Oh, okay. Was she okay with that?" Penny asked.

"I presume so. Although she was a bit curious about your recent need to spend more time with me. I told her that it came to you in a dream."

_Crap._

"You said what?! Sheldon, Amy's going to think I'm dreaming about you and start to get all jealous and angry with me."

"Why?" He asked.

_Because I did and it wasn't platonic._

"Because friends aren't supposed to dream about each other's boyfriends. I don't want her thinking there's anything going on between us."

"I don't understand what the problem is. Are we not supposed to be friends?" He asked. Penny found it endearing how cute he was when he was genuinely confused.

"I don't want her to think we're romantically involved or something."

_Next time Penny, keep your damn mouth shut._

Sheldon did a breathy laugh and went back to his food. When he noticed Penny didn't do the same, he spoke up. "You're serious? Amy is one of the most intelligent people I know. Probably the only person I've ever met that even remotely thinks like me. I can assure you, she would never think something like that."

"Trust me, when women get jealous, they think all kinds of crazy things." Penny said.

_And most of the time, they're true._

Penny's phone vibrated. Sure enough, Amy sent her a text.

_Crap. Crap. Crap._

She opened it and took a deep breath.

"Was that dream you had last night about Sheldon? Why didn't you tell me?" Wrote Amy.

_Because I'm having weird feelings toward him and he's your boyfriend._

Penny tried to think of a good answer.

"Because I didn't want you to think I was suddenly after your boyfriend. And besides, you were right. I feel way better now that we got to hang out and talk." She wrote back.

_Good job, Penny. That was so convincing, maybe you'll start to believe it._

Fairly quickly, Amy responded:

"You could have told me the truth, bestie. I understand. It's just a dream. Just don't do that again."

_Well that could have been worse._

"Of course. I'm sorry Ames. I heart you!" Penny replied.

"XoXo Bestie! Ttys!" Amy answered.

The whole time Penny was texting, Sheldon seemed entirely disinterested in what she was doing. Twenty minutes later, Sheldon dragged Penny back to the car to get some towels he brought with him.

"Why'd you bring two towels?" Penny asked.

"You didn't think I was going to sit on the grass, did you? I assumed you felt the same, so I brought you a towel too. You're welcome." He said.

She took her towel and followed him to a spot on the grass near a large oak tree. They laid out their towels and sat down.

"Oh this is a really pretty spot. Kinda makes me feel like I'm back in Nebraska. You know, if Nebraska was in front of a train hot dog stand."

Sheldon smiled. "I chose this location due to its displacement from most of the crowd while still maintaining a direct view of the fireworks area. The fireworks will be right above those trees in the distance. Due to the lack of humidity tonight, they should create a rainbow like effect well above the tree tops just to the left of the moon."

Penny nodded. "Wow, sounds pretty awesome. Or at least you paint quite the picture."

"It's easy when I have such a stunning muse." Sheldon said.

Penny froze and looked directly into Sheldon's eyes. Her stomach was turning like crazy and her heart practically skipped a beat. "Why, Sheldon…" She started to speak.

"Bazinga. That was a line from your play. When Sarah tells the professor that he paints quite the picture, he attributes his ability to Sarah being an artistic muse. A labored metaphor, but apparently effective." He replied.

Penny's stomach dropped.

_Bazinga indeed._


	15. Chapter 15

Penny took a deep sigh and looked down at her legs in front her. She didn't want to cry. She had no real reason to cry. If she cried, she'd be admitting that she was disappointed that Sheldon didn't look at her that way. And essentially, she'd be admitting she had feelings for him.

Sheldon looked over at Penny. He wasn't great at reading emotions, but he knew that Penny's attitude changed since he last spoke.

"Penny, I said bazinga. When I make a joke, it's indicated by my use of the word bazinga." He explained.

"Yeah, I heard you the first time. Thanks a lot." She said. "Jerk."

_That wasn't supposed to be out loud._

"Did I offend you in some way?" Sheldon asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"No. Well, sorta. You didn't have to be like 'you're stunning, oh just kidding, bazinga, you're ugly.'" Penny blurted.

"I said no such thing. I didn't comment on your appearance whatsoever. I was merely quoting your play in response to your prior accidental quotation. "

"Okay, but the line was telling me that I was stunning. And I guess I felt flattered for a minute, and then you took it away. I'm sorry, I just got all wrapped up in it. Forget it." She looked away again.

"Are you feeling insecure about your physical appearance?" He asked.

"No, nothing like that. I should have seen it coming. You're Sheldon, you don't find women pretty or ugly or anything else. You're just asexual. Like a plant."

"I assure you, I am not capable of asexual reproduction. Although it would solve a few issues, it's entirely impossible for humans. And out of all people, you should know that I'm not completely void of emotion myself. I should be offended. I can judge beauty just as well as any male. I just don't think with my genitals." Sheldon explained. Penny looked back at him.

"Okay sorry. Well let me ask you. Are you attracted to Amy?"

Sheldon pondered for a few seconds. "Yes." He responded.

"So you find her pretty?"

"I suppose. Although there is a lot more about Amy I find attractive than just her aesthetics. "

"Do you think I'm pretty?" Penny asked.

_Wow, that was bold._

"Your features combined with your physique constitutes you as 'pretty' by today's standards." He replied.

"So I'm pretty?" She asked again.

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"Am I beautiful?"

_Okay, so I guess I'm going for extra bold today._

"Penny, why are you asking me these things?" Sheldon asked, looking a bit irritated.

"Just answer and I'll leave you alone. Am I beautiful?" She reiterated.

"Beautiful is essentially a synonym for pretty, so yes."

"No bazinga?"

"For what?"

"Thank you, that's all I needed to know." Penny went back to looking at the horizon. She smiled, feeling pretty special.

_Robot boy thinks I'm beautiful. I must be pretty special to get someone like him to look at me like that._

Sheldon looked at his cell phone. "Fireworks should be starting soon. Oooooh I hope they use those gold ones that sound like popcorn when they explode."

Penny just smiled and laughed to herself. "I'm sure they will, sweetie."

Two minutes later, the fireworks show commenced. Around them were children awestruck, couples in love, and families bonding. It was quite the beautiful moment.

_That's a good word for today. Beautiful._

"Ooooh there it is! Did you see it Penny? Rather, did you hear it? It's just like popcorn."

_He's adorable when he's excited._

Penny was sitting to his right, maybe a foot away from him, just like always. Sheldon was fascinated with the fireworks, truly enjoying the moment. Penny looked into the distance to enjoy the show. She tilted her head to the left and rested it on Sheldon's shoulder, delighted that he didn't flinch. He was so distracted by the display that he didn't notice. Or perhaps he didn't care. She didn't know either way.

"Thanks Sheldon, today was pretty amazing." She said in a barely audible tone.

"It was." He responded, still unaware of her intrusion into his personal space. His eyes didn't leave the sky.

_Yeah, he's more of a romantic than he even knows. It just took the right girl to bring it out of him._

* * *

About 10 minutes later, the fireworks finale ended and everyone applauded, including Sheldon. He stood up as if he was applauding real performers on a job well done. Upon doing so, Penny's head slipped right off his shoulder, causing her to roll backwards and fall towards Sheldon's towel. He turned around and immediately noticed Penny half laying on the ground.

"Penny, stop clowning around down there and remove yourself from my towel. It's time to go."

She just groaned from having her elbow hit a rock on the ground.

"I know you're disappointed train day is over, but it's time to head back to the apartment."

"Yeah, devastated." She said sarcastically. She picked herself up and grabbed her towel.

"Do you still wish to run lines tomorrow?" Sheldon asked,

_Oh yeah, I still have to do that._

"Yeah sure. I can come over sometime in the afternoon."

"Great, Amy was hoping to catch one of our acting escapades." He said.

Penny scrunched her eyebrows. "Oh, Amy's coming over?"

"Yes. We're having lunch together. She informed me that you, Amy and Bernadette were having a 'girls night out' tomorrow evening, so she's coming over to my apartment in the afternoon."

_Note to self: rehearse the least romantic scene possible tomorrow. Or maybe an angry one would work. Just nothing lovey._

"Oh right, forgot about that. So what are you going to be doing tomorrow night?" Penny asked while they were walking back to the car.

"Howard and Raj are taking me over to the comic book store. Then I'll be doing laundry, since it will be laundry night. Perhaps we'll follow that with the vintage video games we discarded this evening."

_Oh yeah, he totally disrupted his schedule for me tonight._

"I'm sorry if I messed things up by dragging you away from that today. I forgot. I know how scheduled you like to be."

"With Leonard gone, I might as well embrace the chaos." Sheldon said.

_I couldn't agree more._


	16. Chapter 16

Penny and Sheldon had a relatively quiet ride home. It took a lot of effort on Penny's part to focus. All she did was daydream about her and Sheldon. At one point, he started rambling about string theory, but Penny just nodded periodically to convince him she was listening.

When they got home, Penny stood in the corridor between their two apartments. Sheldon took out his key and went to open his door before turning around.

"Thank you, Penny. This was the best train day yet!" He said, with that same childlike smile on his face.

"Aw, you're welcome sweetie. I just want to see you happy."

"I am. Alright, goodnight Penny." He said as he went to go into his apartment.

Penny spoke up. "Don't you want to say goodnight to me?"

Sheldon turned around. "I just did. But since you didn't hear me, I'll say it again. Goodnight." And with that last word, he went into his apartment and closed the door.

She giggled to herself. "Goodnight sweetie."

Penny went into her apartment and tossed her handbag on the couch. She poured herself a glass of wine and decided to go on her laptop. She saw an email from Leonard, but didn't bother opening it.

_I'll write to him later. I've got more important things to worry about right now._

She closed her laptop and picked up her script. She flipped through the pages to find something appropriate for Saturday afternoon.

_Hmm. This one toward the end might not be so bad. They broke up already, so they're trying to get through the rest of the semester as teacher and student, but there is a lot of pain in each other's hearts. That might be a fun one to do. No physical contact involved._

But for now, Penny decided to flip back and re-read Act II. She read through the most passionate of scenes, playing it out in her mind. She was Sarah, and Sheldon was the professor. It wasn't that much of a stretch for her. Sheldon tried to teach her physics once, and in most of their day to day interactions, Sheldon treated her like a subordinate and ended up teaching her something.

_But tonight was different. We were equals. We weren't physicist and neighbor. We were Penny and Sheldon._

She took the script to bed and read through the scenes until she fell asleep.

* * *

The next day, Penny woke up at her normal time. She had a dream about the night before, almost exactly as the day played out. Almost.

In the dream, their conversation about Penny being beautiful wasn't quite the same.

_"Am I beautiful?"_

_"Penny, why are you asking me these things?" _

_"Just answer and I'll leave you alone. Am I beautiful?"_

_"I'm not sure this is something I should be discussing with you Penny. No offense."_

_"I'm sorry. I just thought that since we're both adults here, we could just talk..."_

_"I suppose. I apologize for jumping on you like that."_

Those last three lines were direct quotes from her play, except without the use of Sarah's name. In her dream, their conversations overlapped. She woke up believing that the actual conversation occurred the way it did in her sleep. He told her she was beautiful, she knew that. And she knew he thought it was wrong to have that very conversation. Or at least she believed he thought that.

She didn't notice any problems with her memory. As far as Penny was concerned, they had a great day yesterday and possibly crossed a few boundaries.

_I didn't do anything wrong. If he really does find me beautiful and special, I shouldn't deny him the ability to explore it. I brought out his romantic side yesterday. Not Amy. I did. I just never knew that there was more to Sheldon than just, well, Sheldon._

But he was still dating her friend, and Penny was still dating Sheldon's friend. So her hands were tied.

_One day at a time. No need to do anything rash. I'll just take this one day at a time._

It was 11am. Penny was supposed to hang out with the girls that night, so she had a while to get ready and wander over to Sheldon's apartment for rehearsal. She checked her phone and noticed Bernadette had texted her already.

"Are we doing dinner first?" She asked.

Penny mulled it over. "I guess we could, Amy will be over at Sheldon's this afternoon, so you should make sure she doesn't have plans with him."

"Ok will do." Bernadette responded.

_Ugh, I really don't feel like going out tonight. And I need to work tomorrow. Great._

Penny stopped moping and got ready for the day. Around noon, she heard the slam of the door across the hall. Clearly, Sheldon was on his way out to have lunch with Amy.

She made herself some frozen Pizza and watched some mindless television. Eventually, she looked back at her script and reviewed the scene she chose the night before. The angst of it made her worry that she'd breakdown, but she wasn't in the mood to reselect anything.

_Who knows, it could give me the closure I need to move on from this newfound crush. Or open up yet another can of worms. I doubt Amy will pick up on it. Even if she did, there's a small chance she'd be more turned on by the situation than disgusted. _

At 2:00pm, Penny heard the door slam across the hall again. She got up and rinsed her mouth with mouthwash before grabbing her script and walking to 4A.

She knocked to be polite. Penny knew that her old habits would just make Sheldon view her as the old Penny. And she hadn't decided yet if that was a good thing or not.

Sheldon answered. "Hello Penny, thank you for knocking again. It's nice to know that you can be self-taught. Come in."

_I feel like there's an insult in there._

"Hello bestie. Have you come over to exchange sensual dialog with Sheldon?"

_What?! No. Not now anyway._

"Um, I brought my play if that's what you're asking." Penny responded.

"Fantastic. I'm already aware of Sheldon's acting genius from Fun with Flags, but I fully encourage him to expand his performing repertoire." Amy said.

"Thank you Amy, but I can assure you, I have no intention of competing with Penny in her line of work." He responded.

"I understand. It would be rude to outshine Penny anyhow."

"Hey, I'm right here!" Penny chimed in.

"C'mon Penny, let's get this charade over with." Sheldon said.

She frowned. "Over with? I thought you enjoyed this."

"Yes, but there is a Battlestar Galactica marathon in hour and I'd really…"

Amy cut him off. "Take your time, Penny. Rehearse as long as you want."

_Yeah, I know you don't appreciate his science fiction side Amy. Ain't that a shame…_

"Okay, cool. We're going to do a scene from Act III. It's a bit more angsty than the stuff we usually do, but I need to practice all kinds of interactions, so why not." Penny explained.

Amy sat on the couch bent forward, resting her elbow on her knee and her chin in her palm. Sheldon stood with his copy of the script. Apparently, he wasn't overly familiar with this scene.

"Where in Act III?" He asked.

"The top of scene one, so right at the beginning. She goes over to his office again, but they broke up right before this." Penny cleared her throat and glanced sideways at Amy. She wanted to be in character, but she found it hard to forget Amy was right behind her.

_"Good morning, Professor."_

_"Good morning Sarah."_

_"I know I'm probably the last person you want to see, but I wanted to hand in the paper I was supposed to turn in yesterday. I'm really sorry it's late. Please just accept it, even if you have to take points off or something." She said._

_"I don't accept late work." _He said. The line was supposed to be delivered cold. And Sheldon was as stoic as possible. It was a bit disheartening to Penny to hear him so passionless after everything that happened this week.

_"Please find it in your heart to have empathy for me. It's been a really hard week." _She said.

Sheldon raised his voice._ "And what do you think this week has been like for me? Do you think I'm thrilled? Do I look God damn thrilled?!"_

Amy softly chimed in. "Oooh that's kind of hot."

_"You said you wouldn't let this affect my work. You promised that you wouldn't take it out on my school stuff. You're going to have to go back to treating me like you used to." _Penny started to tear up a bit.

_"The only reason I used to treat you like you were special is because I thought you were special. I didn't take Jordan's paper when he sent it in late and I sure as hell won't be accepting yours. You may show yourself out miss."_

_"You know what? I know you don't believe me, but I love you dammit." _Penny started to cry, but read on._ "I didn't walk away because I didn't love you. I walked away because I can't be who you want me to be. I'm sorry."_ The stage directions told her to throw her paper on the ground and run off, so she promptly threw down her script and ran toward the door. She pressed her forehead against the door and tried to stop crying. She turned around and addressed Amy and Sheldon. "I'm sorry guys, give me a minute."

Amy got up. "It's okay Penny. This is what you wanted. To emotionally connect with your character. Don't apologize for that."

Sheldon looked over at Penny with a bit of concern. She looked back into his eyes for a second and then back to Amy.

_This WAS what I wanted, Amy. You have no idea what I want now._


	17. Chapter 17

Penny wiped away her tears. "God, I look like a blubbering fool."

Amy hugged Penny. "It's okay bestie. Is something else wrong? Did you hear from Leonard?"

_Crap. I forgot. I need to write him back._

"Nothing's really wrong. Leonard's fine. He's having a great time and he misses me." She replied.

Sheldon stayed strangely quiet.

"Well good. If anything's bothering you, my shoulder's always available." Amy said.

_Aw Amy, you're sweet. I just wish I was as nice to you._

"Thank you." She looked at Sheldon. "I'm sorry about all this. Maybe we should just pick this up later. I think I've got too much on my mind for this right now."

"I apologize if my acting is so realistic that it genuinely upset you. I assure you, I was only yelling at you as the character. I have no ill feelings toward you." Sheldon said.

_But do you have any feelings for me?_

"I know, sweetie. I'm going to go back to my apartment and rest for a bit. I'll come back later if I get it together."

"Please do. Your presence always lights up the apartment." Amy said.

With that, Penny forced a smile and went back to her place. She collapsed on the couch and tried take deep breaths.

_Why is this so hard? Am I seriously afraid of getting rejected? I really wasn't going to actively pursue him._

She thought about getting a drink, but thought the better of it pretty quickly.

_What's wrong with me? This whole thing is just so stupid. _

It didn't take long before Penny heard the infamous knock at her door.

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

She nearly jumped out of her skin and felt her stomach drop. She quickly wiped away a tear from her eye and mustered up the courage to answer the door. There stood Sheldon. Alone.

"Penny, do you want to talk about something?"

"Not really, no." She responded. It may have been a lie, but she didn't know how to talk to him anymore.

"Alright then." He said as he went to turn around.

"Wait, come back. You didn't just come over here because you were worried about me, did you?" She asked.

"You've been acting a bit strange. And being that I've been the source of your social interactions this week, I feel like this may have something to do with me." He said.

Penny just looked at the ground. Sheldon's eyes got a bit bigger as he was waiting for her to say something. She turned around and walked to her couch and sat down. "I don't know."

"Penny, if I did something to upset you, let me know. This isn't about the bazinga yesterday, is it?" Sheldon asked as he sat beside her.

"No, it was a joke. I'm over it."

"Oh good. Was it a just a physical response to my superb acting ability?"

She chuckled. "Maybe. I don't know."

"If you want, I can use an accent when I read for the professor, that way it's easier to tell us apart. 'Us' being myself, of course, and Professor Collingsworth."

"No, don't do that. It's fine, really." She said.

"Howdy ya'll, I'm ye here English professor. You dun did a good job Sarah." He said with an over the top southern drawl.

Penny laughed. A real laugh. "Oh my God Sheldon, you crack me up sometimes."

"And yet people seem to think I have no sense of humor."

"I know you do. And thanks. It's nice to know you care about me."

_Maybe there is hope after all._

"You're welcome." He responded. He stood up in his spot.

"Hey Sheldon. I don't really feel like partying with the girls tonight. Why don't I come back after dinner with them and we'll do our laundry together?"

"I don't need help doing my own laundry, but if you wish to do your own at the same time, that's acceptable. Provided there are enough vacant machines in the laundry room."

"Okay, it's a date then." She said.

"Alright. Goodbye Penny." He walked toward the door and let himself out.

_I have a date with Sheldon. I have a date with Sheldon. I've never looked forward to doing laundry before. I sure hope Amy doesn't mind. Then again, in college, I was told that unless you kiss or mess around, it's not really cheating. And being that Sheldon doesn't even kiss his own girlfriend, I think I'm totally safe here._

Perhaps Penny's logic was skewed, but she convinced herself that she did nothing wrong. She texted the girls that they should go to dinner at 6, giving her enough time to return promptly for Sheldon's laundry schedule. They agreed to meet up at her place, despite Penny informing them that she would be returning home afterwards and skipping out on the festivities. Luckily, Bernadette and Amy were okay with going alone to hang out. Amy explained to her that Penny was having a rough day.

_Oh lord, without me there, Amy is going to make Bernadette crazy._

But Penny wasn't treating this dinner like a casual dinner. She request a fancy restaurant with a nice bar. She was going to get dressed to kill, and maybe drink a bit. Perhaps pre-gaming her date with Sheldon wasn't the smartest idea, but she figured she might as well be attractive and confident when she saw him.

Penny stayed in her apartment for the duration of the afternoon. She spent 45 minutes curling her hair into soft, sexy waves. She put on a tight black cocktail dress with silver chain straps. The dress hit her about mid-thigh, exposing a good part of her leg. She paired the ensemble with 4 inch stiletto heels. She put on dramatic smoky eye make-up and soft pink lip gloss. She was dressed to kill all right.

At about 5:45, Bernadette and Amy arrived. When Penny opened the door for them, their mouths dropped.

"I thought we were just going to dinner. You said you didn't want to go out afterwards." Bernadette said.

"Yeah well, I just felt like dressing up. Made me feel a little better." Penny explained.

"Well you look absolutely ravishing." Said Amy.

_Yeah well, Sheldon's never noticed when I dress up, but I'll give it all I've got tonight._

"Smokin' hot. Ow ow!" Added Bernadette.

Penny smiled. "Thanks guys. You ready to go?"

They left and went to the restaurant. Penny received eyes from several men at the bar, but didn't look their way. Upon sitting down, Penny ordered a mojito to get the night started.

The girls had a delightful evening, talking about random things. Penny did her best to avoid talking about the guys. Amy talked a bit about Sheldon, and likewise Bernadette talked about Howie. Penny kept a bit quiet, but they attributed it to her emotional breakdown earlier. Of course, she managed to have a few more drinks in the process. She wasn't quite drunk, but she was glad Bernadette was driving.

Finally they got back to Los Robles. Amy went to her car and Penny proceeded upstairs. She got to her apartment and gathered up her laundry. She waited around until she heard Sheldon close his door. Penny grabbed her basket and went downstairs about a minute afterwards.

She got to the laundry room and took a deep breath. She was definitely tipsy, but she knew what she was doing. As she walked in the door, she stopped and posed with the basket by her hip. Sheldon turned at looked straight at her.

"Hello Professor."


	18. Chapter 18

"Hello my fair sex kitten. Do you wish to engage in coitus in the laundry room?"

"I thought you'd never ask..."

BAZINGA

Hello loyal readers. Thank you for all your kind words via reviews. I've been updating quickly since I wrote a few of these chapters all at once. I'm aware I like to make jokes and end the chapters with cliff hangers to keep you interested. And it's working, so I'm going to keep doing it. :-)

The BAZINGA above was just to give all you Shenny folk a heart attack haha. Oh I crack myself up...

* * *

"Hello Penny. Although I appreciate the formality, if you insist on calling me by a title, I prefer 'doctor.' It's rather inappropriate to call me professor since I do not teach and I have multiple doctorate degrees." He turned back to his laundry basket to continue sorting.

Penny shook it off. "Okay, then I'll do it your way." She sauntered closer to him. "Hello, doctor."

"And again, hello Penny." He didn't even look up this time.

She plopped her laundry basket on the same table where he was sorting. "For the record, I was calling you professor for a reason. I wasn't confused. I know what you are and what you aren't. Maybe more than others." She replied.

She was about a foot and a half away from his face. Sheldon crinkled his nose and turned toward her.

"Have you been drinking? Your breath reeks of alcohol. It would also explain your intrusion of my personal space and scantily clad presence in the laundry room."

_Now that you mention it, the room is a bit unstable. Maybe I am drunk._

"What's a matter, doctor? You don't like my dress?"

"It's a bit formal for laundry night, but that's the beauty of laundry night. To wear what you do not need washed for the upcoming week."

She laughed. "Oh you're funny Dr. Cooper."

"Penny, since when do you call me anything other than Sheldon? What's this about?"

"Should I call you moonpie?" She asked.

"Not unless you're my meemaw. And since you're my friend, you should call me Sheldon."

"Is that what you really want?" Penny asked as she went over to the washing machine to prepare to do laundry.

"Yes. That's why I said it." He replied.

"No, not about being called Sheldon. Do you really want to be my friend?"

"To be fair, I didn't get much of a choice in the matter to begin with. You started coming over our apartment all the time and made your way into our social group. But over time, I've learned to appreciate and value our friendship."

"Have you ever thought about being more than friends?"

* * *

Meanwhile, in 4A:

Howard and Raj were seated on the brown leather sofa playing Mortal Kombat. Per usual, they were vigorously pressing buttons in attempt to knock each other out. Stuart sat on the adjacent chair, watching the two play.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish Sheldon would hurry up and come back so we could play doubles again." Stuart said.

"You know how the wack-job is. Heaven forbid he miss laundry night." Howard responded. "Ahhhh dangit Raj, how do you keep doing that?!" He yelled as Raj won.

"I think it's because I'm sitting in Sheldon's spot. It's rather empowering." Raj replied.

As Howard handed the controller over to Stuart, his cell phone rang. He saw it was his mother, but answered anyway.

"Hi ma… I'm at Sheldon's… No I don't have your girdle… Well what is it doing in the trunk of my car?... I don't normally put my dry cleaning in the trunk… Now? Seriously?... Fine give me a few minutes… I said I'll be there in a few minutes!" He hung up the phone.

"I have to go over to my mother's house. She thought putting her girdle in my trunk would mean I'd get it dry cleaned for her. And now she needs it back apparently." He responded in a shudder.

"Hurry back, Sheldon will be upstairs soon." Raj said.

"It'll depend how long it takes me to fumigate my car. I thought I smelled butter on the way over here." Howard said as he left the apartment.

He got to the first floor and stopped when he heard Sheldon's voice coming from the laundry room.

"How much more are we talking here? I already spend an absurd amount of time with you."

"Well, you like role playing games, don't you?"

Howard walked toward the laundry room. "Is that Penny?" He whispered to himself. He stood by the elevator and listened intently.

"Yes, of course. You sat through our Dungeons and Dragons game once. It's remarkably exciting when everyone gets into character." Sheldon said.

"Well, let's play a game then. You're Professor, erm, I mean Dr. Collingsworth. And I'm Sarah. I've come to your office and I didn't do so well on the last paper. But you're willing to give me *extra* credit." She said in a seductive tone.

_That was delightfully trashy of you Penny, he has to respond SOMEHOW to that._

Howard's mouth was gaping open. Normally, this kind of scene would be his biggest fantasy, but he was too freaked out to think of it that way. "There's no way I heard that right." He said to himself. He quickly turned around and ran out of the building. "I don't know what the frak is going on in there but I'm not sure I want to find out."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Penny, I have laundry to do. Please don't bother me with your play while I'm sorting whites and colors. One black sock in the white wash could ruin everything." Sheldon replied.

"Dammit Sheldon, just look at me. Why the hell aren't you responding to me? Am I not good enough for you? You always told me I'd be lucky to land someone like you. But you never said it would be downright impossible!" She yelled.

Sheldon stopped what he was doing and turned to look at Penny. "Are you trying to seduce me?" He asked.

_Tada! That took long enough!_

She gathered her thoughts before speaking, just to make sure they didn't come out wrong. "Look, you said I was beautiful. You enjoy spending time with me. You play the part of a man interested in me so well because in a way, you are. I'm not asking you to run off with me into the sunset, I just wanted you to realize that there's something going on here. And I just wanted to make sure you saw it too."

He dropped the shirt he was holding and sighed. "Hoh boy… Penny is this what your crying episode was about yesterday?"

"Yes… I didn't like hearing you tell me I wasn't special. I know you were acting, but I don't want to believe you'd ever think I wasn't special. What you have with Amy is great and all but…"

"And what about what you have with Leonard?"

_I've got to stop forgetting about him._

"What about it?"

"Is what you have with Leonard "great" too?" He asked.

"Well yeah, I guess. But I'm not talking about him. I'm talking about you."

"Penny, while I'm flattered that you've developed a romantic interest in me, I'm a bit appalled that you thought enticing me with carnal relations would result in a reciprocation of those feelings. Furthermore, I have a girlfriend. You have a boyfriend. And even so, if Leonard and Amy didn't exist, you and I have completely different attitudes toward relationships. There is no reason to believe you and I would be compatible." Sheldon explained. He went back to his laundry and put his clothes into the washer.

"I know, but I think there's more to you than you let on. I think we bring things out in each other than no one else could. Now do you, or have you, ever thought of me in THAT way?"

Sheldon finished loading the washing machine and closed the door. "Why does this bother you so much?"

"I just want to know."

"Penny, I urge you to drop the subject. There is nothing good that can come from this conversation." With that, he grabbed his basket and walked upstairs.

She kicked an empty bottle of detergent across the floor in anger and leaned against the washer. Then she lifted her head and smirked.

_He never said no._


	19. Chapter 19

Penny finished her laundry and went back upstairs. She could hear from the hallway that the guys were playing video games. She stood there looking at his door for a minute.

_He never said no. And since when does Sheldon leave his laundry unattended on laundry night? Maybe I'm not the only one who's changing. Or maybe he was just trying to get away from me. I doubt that. If he intended to stay down there, he wouldn't have everyone at the apartment._

She went into her apartment and opened her laptop. For better or for worse, she still owed Leonard an email.

* * *

Howard got into his car and called Bernadette. He would have loved to stay and listen, but he couldn't come up with one single reason why Penny would speak to Sheldon like that. And last he heard, she was supposed to be out with the girls.

"Hi Howie, what's shakin'?" She answered.

Amy leaned over toward her cell phone. "What up H-dog?" Clearly the ladies had been drinking this evening as well.

"Um, hi Bernie. You're with Amy and Penny right now, aren't you?"

"Penny bailed. Something about an emotional breakdown during her acting lesson with Sheldon. I think she's having a really hard time with Leonard being gone. So Amy and I decided to have a Girls Night In at our apartment. We turned Bridget Jones's Diary into a drinking game. Hope you don't mind." Bernadette explained.

"I think that is a fantastic sweater he's wearing." Amy slurred in the background, clearly referencing the movie.

Howard remained confused. "So Penny's in her apartment?"

"I'd assume so."

At this point, Howard was feeling guilty. "Bernie, can you go into another room or something, I need to talk to you privately."

"Sure thing." She looked over at Amy. "I'll be back in a minute."

"Take your time, Bridget and I will be chillaxing in the living room."

Bernadette walked into the bedroom and closed the door. "Okay I'm alone. What's wrong?"

Howard took a deep breath. "I heard some suspicious conversation coming from the laundry room a few minutes ago. Sounded like Penny and Sheldon were in there together."

"What were they saying?" She asked.

"It sounded like Penny was coming on to him. I know it makes absolutely no sense, and maybe she was drinking, but..."

"Howie, you can't be serious. Why would Penny hit on Sheldon?"

"I have no idea. But she said something to him about role playing and pretending he was the professor and she was the student. And she needed some *extra* credit."

"Maybe they were running lines while waiting for their clothes. I think that's what the play's about. She's supposed to be a student dating the professor."

He thought about that for a minute. "That would make the most sense… although Sheldon wasn't supposed to be down there that long. I don't know, I suppose you're right. If anything, I always assumed that I'd be next in line."

"In line for what?"

"Well she's dating Leonard and already slept with Raj. I figured if she was going after the whole group, I'd come before Sheldon…" He said.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. Goodnight." Bernadette said.

"C'mon, I'm sorry, you know what I meant. Go have fun with Amy and I'll see you tonight."

"Okay. Bye Howie." She hung up and rejoined Amy in the living room. Bernadette didn't speak a word of it to Amy, figuring that there was nothing to say. Howard had to be mistaken.

"I think I'm ready for another drink, Amy."

"Woohoo, we're gonna get c-razy" She replied.

* * *

Penny wrote Leonard a pretty pragmatic email. She mentioned her play again, talked about the girls. She did everything short of mentioning Sheldon, figuring that it was better to avoid speaking about him than risk sounding suspicious.

With that, she closed her laptop. She changed into shorts and a tank top and pulled her hair into a messy bun. She went back to thinking about her recent conversation with Sheldon.

_I'm being ridiculous. If I want him to admit he likes me, I need to start being myself. No more clowning around. And maybe I should lay off tonight. I've already given him a lot to think about. I'll just go get my laundry when I know he's not down there._

Penny kept her promise to herself and stayed out of Sheldon's way for the rest of the evening. No knocks at the door, no text messages. She just stayed in her room and listened for the door of 4A. She took care of her laundry in between Sheldon's trips downstairs and watched television for a while.

As she laid on the couch, she drifted off to sleep. She went from playing back the events from the laundry room in her mind to dreaming about them. Once again, things were almost accurate. Almost.

_"I know, but I think there's more to you than you let on. I think we bring things out in each other than no one else could. Now do you, or have you, ever thought of me in THAT way?" _Penny asked.

_"Why does this bother you so much?"_

_"I just want to know."_

_"What do you want from me? I'm trying really hard here to make everyone happy." _He said.

_"You know what? Maybe you just can't handle a relationship. Maybe I'm too good for you."_

_"Or maybe I understand what it takes to make a real relationship work. This isn't a movie Penny. If you want to be together, you have to trust me. We can't run around like we're teenagers."_

_"You need to earn my trust. And going out of your way to hide us from the rest of the world isn't going to help." _She responded.

_"I'm not hiding you. I'm protecting you, and I'm protecting us."_

Penny's phone jarred her awake. She jumped, thinking it was Sheldon text messaging her, but it was Mikey.

"Hey Penny, the theater gave us permission to start rehearsals this Monday, provided we don't mess up their stage and only come in during non-performance days. Can you make it by 6:00pm?"

Her pulse started to quicken.

_In the midst of all this craziness, I forgot that I'll need to start rehearsing with real actors. I'm working tomorrow and Tuesday, so I guess I'm available Monday._

She texted back, "Yeah sure, np. I'll see you then"

"Great, thanks Sarah ;-)"

Perhaps the last thing Penny needed right now was for a whole group of people she didn't know to start addressing her as Sarah. But this was her job. To be whom she was told to be.

_So I guess that means no more Sheldon rehearsals. I told him I only needed him until my actual rehearsals started. Well I lied. I need him more than that. No more protecting me, Sheldon. It's time to make you realize that you need me too._


	20. Chapter 20

Penny woke up early Sunday morning. She had done a lot of thinking the night before and realized she had to be far more subtle in her attempt to woo Sheldon.

_This new romantic and charming side to him is just as mind-blowing to him as it is to me. I need to let him ease into his new character. I need to be a lot less aggressive. Especially given that we're both involved with someone right now. I don't want to hurt Leonard and Amy, I just want to make sure we're all with who we're supposed to be with. And I must say, I'm having major doubts right now._

The way she saw it, they had known each other for years. Their relationship started off rocky with a clear misunderstanding of each other. It grew into a close friendship, where the two of them took care of each other and enjoyed each other's company. Sure they were polar opposites, but in a way, that's why it worked. She was the first woman outside of Sheldon's family that he trusted, and she didn't want to break that trust.

She sat down and wrote an email to Sheldon, apologizing for her forward advances in the laundry room.

_Dear Sheldon,_

_I understand that my behavior last night was completely out of line. I was a bit drunk and acted totally inappropriately. Please forgive me. I care about you a lot and I would never want to do anything to jeopardize our relationship. Also, don't tell anyone what I did, it's rather embarrassing. I'm sure we'll talk about this more in person eventually, i just wanted you to know I was sorry first._

_~ Penny_

After that, she got dressed and left for work, managing to work a full shift and make decent tips. When she got home, Sheldon had replied to her email.

_Penny,_

_Please learn to control your baser urges. I accept your apology, but I will be awarding you one strike for your behavior._

_-Dr. Sheldon Cooper B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D._

Penny couldn't help laughing.

_Oh those strikes of his. And God forbid he sign an email without mentioning his degrees in it._

She made herself some macaroni and cheese and plopped herself down on the couch. While she was eating, she started to think about what to do with Sheldon.

_There's got to be a way to find out what he's really thinking. I might just go insane otherwise. Even if he outright hated me, at least I wouldn't be constantly wondering what would have been. I know we're not supposed to be together, but sometimes rules are meant to be broken._

She put down her plate and walked across the hall. She knocked, and as always, Sheldon answered.

He looked a little less than amused to see her. "Can I help you?" He asked.

"Yeah, look Sheldon. I know I already apologized via email, but I thought you deserved a face to face apology as well. So yeah. I'm really sorry."

He nodded. "It's alright, I've experienced worse aftermath as a result of inebriation. Might I suggest you abstain from drinking on laundry nights?"

"Of course. Never again. At least not before I actually do my laundry." She said with a smirk. "Can I come in for a bit?"

"I suppose." He replied. She walked in and sat on the couch.

Sheldon looked over at Penny. "Are we doing a play rehearsal this evening?"

"Yeah, I don't think that's the best idea. Tomorrow I get to go and practice with the actual actors, so you don't have to help me anymore if you don't want to."

_But if you did, that'd be okay._

"Penny, you are my friend. I agreed to help you. If you require my assistance, I will abide by my promise and be here for you. I do not break promises."

She smiled and felt her stomach flutter. "Aw sweetie, that's one of the things I love about you. You're just so honest and forthcoming. And you have a good heart."

"I know. And thank you for stating it."

She giggled. "I must have freaked you out last night."

"How so?"

_Why did you bring this up again, stupid?_

"Well, you know. Ah, forget it, it's over and done with." She said. She put her hands on the sofa like she was going to stand up. Instead, Sheldon came over and sat beside her.

"Now wait just a second. You didn't 'freak' me out, but I did find your behavior to be off-putting and uncalled for. But based on the recent series of events and your behavioral quirks, I'm left wondering how many of your antics were alcohol induced."

She bit her bottom lip. "I really was drinking at dinner that night. You can ask Amy."

"I'm not questioning your intake level. But let me ask, is what you said true?"

Penny did her best to postpone the inevitable. "Which part?"

At that moment, his computer started to ring. Amy was requesting him on Skype. Penny used that as her out.

"Go take that. You should go talk to your girlfriend. Amy. Amy your girlfriend. Yeah, so I'm going to go and write to my boyfriend Leonard, or something. Yeah. Okay then. Great talk!" And with that, Penny scurried to the door. "Goodnight Sheldon!" She said as she closed the door behind her.

Sheldon sighed, feeling a bit exasperated at the whole situation. He was pretty sure that his neighbor and best friend's girlfriend had romantic feelings for him. And worse, his girlfriend considered her a best friend as well. He didn't really understand the protocol for handling this kind of drama, so he did his best to keep quiet. Despite holding himself in a high regard, Sheldon had no plausible explanation for Penny's sudden interest in him.

Across the hall, Penny spend the remainder of the night with a slightly elevated heart rate and a wandering mind.

_What to do now… What to do…_

* * *

The next day, Sheldon, Howard and Raj sat down at their usual table in the cafeteria at the university. Howard wanted to outright ask Sheldon about Penny, but decided to hold off and see if he was acting any differently at lunch.

They maintained their typical playful arguments about science fiction and comic book heroes when Sheldon got a text message.

"Hey sweetie. I'll be near the university this afternoon. Want a ride home? ~Penny"

Sheldon spoke up upon reading it. "Oh, how nice. Raj, Penny just texted me that she wants to give me a ride home this afternoon, so you don't have to wait for me today." He proceeded to text back his acceptance.

"Very well. Thank you Penny. I accept."

He put his phone away and went back to his lunch. Howard decided it was time to speak up.

"So, you've been spending an awful lot of time with Penny lately." Howard said.

Sheldon twitched slightly, but maintained his cool. "Perhaps. Although the frequency of her presence in my apartment has decreased since Leonard left." This part was true. She wasn't sleeping over since Leonard left.

Howard was clearly looking for Sheldon to react. "I heard she even blew off the girls this weekend to do laundry with you. Not to mention the day she convinced you to skip work to look at trains."

At this point, Howard got Raj's attention. He picked his head up. "But Penny doesn't like trains."

"I know. Kind of interesting, isn't it?"

Sheldon twitched again and began to blink oddly. "Penny told me she had a dream which told her that she wasn't spending enough time with me. Which is perfectly valid in the sense that we used to hang out as friends, and now we only socialize as a group."

Raj still didn't quite get what Howard was implying. "That reminds me, how's Penny's play coming along?"

Sheldon answered quickly. "Fine. Although she starts rehearsing at the theater tonight, so she won't be requiring my assistance anymore."

Howard decided to try one last thing. "Yeah, Bernadette told me about the play. Sounds kind of hot. You know, the age old fantasy of a school girl coming on to her professor. Going for some *extra* credit… it's the stuff good pornos are made from."

Raj laughed a bit. "That is kind of hot."

Sheldon was now blinking oddly and pushing his food around. "I'm going back to my office." He said as he picked up his tray.

"But you're not done eating yet." Raj said.

"I said I'm leaving. I'll see you later." And with that, Sheldon swiftly walked back to his office, wondering if he didn't make a mistake by accepting Penny's ride home invitation.

Raj raised an eyebrow. "What was that about?"

Howard sat back in his chair, a bit surprised that Sheldon reacted the way he did. "I'm not entirely sure, but I think a Leonardless summer is starting take its toll on our friends."


	21. Chapter 21

Hello everyone. Quick update here because the last chapter didn't do a whole lot. Enjoy!

* * *

Penny arrived at the university later that afternoon to pick up Sheldon. She texted him to come outside and he met her at the car. At first, Sheldon was unusually quiet.

"Hey sweetie. How was your day?" She asked.

"Fine."

"Anything new happen at work?"

"Nope."

She wrinkled her eyebrows. "Really? I'm basically giving you permission to jibber jabber about work and you're turning it down?"

Sheldon just sighed. "I suppose I am."

"What's wrong sweetie?"

"Nothing's wrong. Why should anything be wrong?" He twitched.

Despite the fact she was driving, Penny still noticed. "You're lying. Talk to me."

He looked down, a bit defeated. "Alright. You never answered my question the other day."

Penny suddenly slammed on the breaks. Sheldon grabbed onto the seat. "Good God woman, are you trying to have us killed?!"

"I'm sorry, you just caught me off guard." She took a deep breath and began driving normally again.

"I'm taking that sudden outburst of poor vehicular handling to mean that my suspicions are true."

"I don't want to have this conversation." Penny said.

"And why not?"

"Because I don't want to hear that we're in this awkward state of not knowing what could have been and you're content to leave things the way they are because you fear change."

_Well that's the most honest you've been in a while._

Sheldon started fiddling with his fingers. "Penny, you asked me that night if I ever thought of you in a non-platonic way. And while I am not actively interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you, I would be lying if I said I never considered such."

At this point, Penny's eyes got wide and her heartbeat quickened. "Really? When was this?"

"When we first met."

She pursed her lips together and smirked. "Oh really? Thought I was cute, huh?"

He looked over at her with a classic Sheldon look. "Your physical attributes played a very minor role in my contemplation."

"But you thought I was cute…" She repeated with a smug expression on her face.

"Your beauty is fairly indisputable by today's standards, so contradicting it for argument's sake would be rather ludicrous." He replied.

"Aw, how sweet. I think. But anyway, go on."

"Anyway, you didn't know Leonard nor myself, but you treated us like friends. You didn't judge us for our quirks, interests, career paths, etc. And I must say, my previous experience with women like yourself resulted in quite the opposite."

"You guys were really nice to me, and after living with my jerk of an ex-boyfriend, it was nice to feel appreciated." Penny explained.

"You were the first female I felt like I could trust, aside from my meemaw, and occasionally my mother and Missy."

Penny's eyes were now practically watering. "Oh Sheldon, that's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. But to be honest, I'm surprised. I kinda thought I was young, naïve and stupid when you met me. How did you find any of that appealing?"

"Well to be fair, your intelligence quotient stays the same for the duration of your life, so you aren't any more or less intelligent now than you were then. Yes, you were young, but there's no way to avoid aging. And furthermore, you're still rather naïve. Just the other day you thought you could entice me with your sexual prowess. If that's not naivety, I don't know what is."

_And now we're back to regular old Sheldon._

"Gee, thanks." She replied.

The rest of the car ride was more relaxed. They talked, they laughed. They basically resumed their normal friendship. Now that Penny had all the answers she was looking for, she could make an educated decision as to where to go from here.

When they got back to the apartment, Penny walked up the stairs with him, right by his side. In front of their corresponding doors, she spoke up.

"Thanks for talking to me about this. I feel much better."

"You're welcome." He responded.

Before he had a chance to say anything else, Penny rushed up to him and wrapped her arms around him. He rolled his eyes and proceeded to loosely hug her back with his forearms. After a few seconds, Sheldon sighed.

"Okay, that's enough." He said.

She backed away and smiled. "See you later, sweetie." And with that, she disappeared into her apartment.

Penny was smiling and doting around her apartment. She really had no reason to be near the university this afternoon, but told Sheldon otherwise just to spend a little more time with him. But now she was home and had to prepare for her first real rehearsal. She flipped through the script and tried to remember everything she learned during her rehearsals across the hall.

_Okay I can do this. It'll be fun practicing with the real cast. I love theater. There is nothing to be nervous about._

Six o'clock rolled around and Penny found herself walking into the Pasadena Theater. She saw a few actors sitting down while playing on their cell phones and a few others making small talk. Mikey proceeded to greet her at the door.

"My Sarah! Nice to see you again!" He said as he gave her a hug.

"Hey Mikey. I'm glad to be here."

A few minutes later, Mikey gathered the cast and had them sit at a long table in the back of the theater. They went around the table and introduced themselves. Penny finally got to see who would be playing whom. She recognized Cole from the auditions, although he seemed less attractive now than last time she saw him. The girl playing her roommate looked a little like Bernadette, but not quite as bubbly. And smaller boobs.

Eventually, Mikey directed them to open their scripts so they could do a collective read of Act I. Penny picked up her script and smiled.

_Well, here it is. I finally get to be the Sarah that Mikey envisioned. And I get to practice my romantic interactions with the real Dr. Cooper. Dammit! Dr. Collingsworth. Collingsworth. Holy crap I thought I was past this. _

Penny was fine until they got to a familiar scene.

_"Oh my gosh, I envy your life. You make Europe sound incredibly romantic." _She said.

_"With the right person, it can be." _Cole replied.

_"Well, then I'll just have to go there with the right person sometime…"_

She noticed that as she said that last line, she wasn't picturing herself looking at Cole. She pictured herself looking into the distance, daydreaming about touring France with Sheldon. Then she stifled a laugh.

_Ha. The French don't like us as it is. I can imagine what they'd think of America after meeting Sheldon._

Mikey smiled and laughed a bit. "You okay over there, Penny?"

"Yeah, I'm totally sorry. I was thinking about something funny that happened with my friend while we were reading through this last week. So sorry, continue."

_Well, that was sort of true. Except not really._

The cast just smiled and carried on. No one was taking this first read through too seriously since it was more of a 'getting used to everyone' session.

After the read through, they talked about the show and read over the schedule for the rest of the summer.

On her way out, Mikey stopped her.

"Hey Penny, I see you've been working on your performance skills already."

"How could you tell? We were just reading from out seats."

"You were giggling and smiling like I expected Sarah would. I mean, she's dating her cute professor. She should be approachable, yet smitten and engaging. And I feel like you'll master it in no time."

She smiled. "Aw, thanks Mikey. I have been working on it. My friend's been helping me big time."

"Well then tell your friend they should keep it up. It's working."

With that, Penny went back to her car.

_Yeah, I'm smitten alright…_


	22. Chapter 22

That night, Penny had a peaceful dream about Sheldon. They sat at a small table outside a local café in Paris, enjoying French cuisine, made meticulously per Sheldon's demands. They gazed at the beautiful night sky together, soaking up every moment of the trip.

_"And when you find him, you'll feel like you're there every night. Everyone around you becomes another star in the sky."_

_And so it was. They were surrounded by nothing except a starlit sky and breathtaking sights. Her mind painted the picture Sarah was supposed to imagine. And there she sat; the stunning muse of Dr. Timothy Collingsworth. He leaned forward and kissed her. And both before and after that very kiss, she saw the face of Sheldon Cooper. The stars above turned into fireworks and lit the sky in their colorful glory._

_Penny woke up completely aware that it was a dream, but it felt real. She felt like she was there. It wasn't just a dream now, it was a memory. It was the only place she could be with Sheldon without any repercussions: her own mind._

She got out of bed and prepared for work. She was working a full shift, up to and including the dinner hour. The guys would be stopping by per usual, and she knew she had to be there to prepare Sheldon's food.

When nighttime rolled around, she found it wasn't as hard to be around him as she thought it might be. Being with Sheldon made her happy. She wasn't nervous or apprehensive. Just happy. Sure her mind wandered into hypothetical scenarios, and she may have been a bit flirtier than she used to be, but it was just Penny and Sheldon. The way it used to be. The way it should be.

She did her best to kept Raj and Howard from seeing any changes in her behavior, but for Howard, it was far too late.

Penny came over and got their orders, which didn't deviate much from the norm. They eventually got their food, and the night commenced like every other Tuesday night. For the most part.

It was 6:45 pm, and the guys were almost done eating. Penny came over to check on them and grab their plates.

"So, got anything exciting planned for the rest of the night?"

Howard responded first. "Bernadette wants me to go pick out bath towels with her. So, no."

Raj followed. "I've got to go home and feed Cinnamon. Then we're getting matching pedicures."

The group just glared at him, but didn't say anything because it was typical Raj.

Finally, Sheldon spoke. "I plan to go home enjoy an evening of solitariness."

"Hey, I get off work in 15 minutes. If you want to wait around for a bit, I can bring you home." Penny said. She turned to Howard and Raj. "It'll spare you guys the trouble."

"Yeah sure, go ahead." Howard said. His eyes were a little wider than normal.

"Great, I'll be back in a few then. Here's your check." She said as she walked back to the kitchen.

When she disappeared out of sight, Howard spoke up. "Okay I'm done being subtle here. Is there anything going on between you and Penny?"

Raj turned to Howard. "Are you crazy dude?"

But Howard's eyes remained fixated. Sheldon took a second to gather his thoughts, and then spoke. "Well, she brought me my dinner, similarly she brought you your own. She came by to ask us if we needed anything else, and most recently, she offered me a ride back to the apartment."

Howard wasn't taking that for an answer. "You know what I'm getting at Sheldon. Are you two secretly seeing each other? Romantically?"

Raj interjected. "You're crazy. They'd never do that to Leonard and Amy. And I think you're forgetting that we're dealing with Sheldon here."

But Sheldon confidently gave them an answer. "No, we are not dating, nor are we romantically involved."

"Told you." Raj said.

"Then explain to me why you're spending most of your free time with Penny when you have an empty apartment and a girlfriend." Howard said.

The problem was that Sheldon really couldn't explain it. Somehow, Penny kept convincing him this was a good idea. He certainly liked hanging out with Amy, but with their recent conversations about increasing the intimacy level of their relationship, he felt it was best to keep her at bay until he figured out how to handle it.

"Penny is my friend. We live across from each other. Maybe she's just lonely with Leonard gone, so she's been seeking my company." He answered.

Now Raj was getting suspicious. "She could always spend time with the girls. Or me."

Sheldon answered quickly. "I said I don't know! I am not dating Penny behind Amy's back. And I'm offended that you would even suspect such given my aversion to the social construct to begin with."

Howard backed off. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

"I've had enough. I'm going over to the bar to wait for Penny there. Excuse me." Sheldon said as he walked off.

Raj watched him walk away. "You know, as crazy as your story seems, you're right about one thing. He is really touchy with the subject of Penny lately. Do you think something happened?"

Howard shrugged. "Maybe he's not the one we should be asking. Maybe this is all Penny's doing."

"But what about Leonard? Penny's not the cheater type."

He agreed. "Yeah, that's what I thought too. We're definitely missing something."

* * *

Howard and Raj left, while Sheldon was sitting at the bar drinking from a tall glass. Eventually, Penny came and found him.

"Careful there Sheldon, don't hit those virgin Cuba Libres too hard." She said with a smirk.

He sighed, with a bit of a smile. "It's been a hard night, Penny. It's not a virgin beverage."

"Wow. Then seriously be careful. I don't want anyone throwing up in my car. You can talk to me about your day on the way home."

He was a bit more smiley than usual, not quite as bad as the night he took off his pants onstage, but not 100% sane either.

_What a funny thought. When is Sheldon ever ACTUALLY sane?_

They walked toward the front of the restaurant. Sheldon put his hand on Penny's shoulder for balance. They looked like a couple. An odd couple, but a couple nonetheless.

When they got to the front door, they noticed it was storming pretty badly outside. Rain was coming down in sheets and her car was in the back of the lot since Penny's an employee.

Penny groaned. "Oh lovely, now I'm going to get soaked on the way to the car. Just great. Wait here, I'll go get it."

Sheldon laughed. "Nonsense Penny. A gentleman doesn't let a lady fetch the car in the pouring rain."

She smiled. "Yes, but you can't drive. And even if you could, I wouldn't let you since you're drunk."

"Then I'll go with you. Here." He held the side of his jacket open. "Stand under here so you won't get wet."

Penny gushed. "Aw, that's sweet of you. But I'll be fine. I don't need to crowd your personal space."

"I insist. Come on. Let's go. Shelly's got an apartment to get to."

She took the bait and snuggled up to him, ducking under the coat.

Sheldon opened the door. "Okay. On your mark, get set, and go!" He said as he took off running with Penny by his side.

She was laughing the whole way to the car. Laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Laughing at how much fun she was having in the rain. With Sheldon.

They got to the car and Sheldon waited with Penny as she fumbled to open her door. When she got in, he bolted to the other side and jumped in as fast as he could. They both sat in the car for a minute laughing about the situation.

"Oh my gosh, that was crazy. I'm soaked!" She said.

"I'm sorry I was unsuccessful in my attempt to shield you from the rain." He replied.

"Oh don't even worry about it sweetie. Let's get home and get changed."

Meanwhile, further down the row in the parking lot sat Raj and Howard. They decided to wait for a few minutes to see if the rain let up before driving home. They watched the two of them run out to the car with their arms around each other, sharing Sheldon's coat.

"Dude, I was wrong. There is definitely something weird going on with those two. He had Penny all up in his business, the rain's coming down in buckets, and he's smiling and laughing." Raj said.

Howard started the engine of his car. "Now the question is, do we tell the girls?"


	23. Chapter 23

Penny and Sheldon sat in the car laughing for a minute. The rain let up slightly, so Penny decided to drive home. She finally decided to ask him what prompted his drinking.

"So, why did you have a drink tonight anyway?"

"I was angry at Howard and Raj." He responded.

She wrinkled her forehead, "Really? You guys seemed fine a few minutes ago. What happened?"

"They accused me of engaging in a secretive romance with you behind Leonard and Amy's backs."

Penny felt her stomach turn. "Oh."

_How did they catch on? Wait. What are they catching on to? We're not in a relationship. Not with each other anyway. How on earth do they know anything?_

Sheldon continued. "I told them their idea was completely nonsensical. And then they pointed out that you and I are spending most of our free time together. Which is another flaw in their logic. Under that premise, I've been in a relationship with Leonard for years."

She just smiled. "Funny. I have to agree with you there. We are what we are. They have no reason to stick their noses in it."

"Exactly."

"Although, that is an interesting question. I haven't spoken to Amy much lately, but I'm assuming you have. Why aren't you two spending time together? I would have thought with Leonard gone, she'd be practically living at your apartment."

"Oh, I hardly think so." He said.

"Okay, not living there. But at least coming over a lot. Is there a reason you haven't seen her much?"

_Me…_

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sheldon… what's the reason?" Penny asked.

_Say it's me._

His inebriation got the best of him. "Penny, I don't want to engage in coitus with Amy."

Her eyes widened immensely. "Oh. Okay, so don't then."

"Oh, if only it was that easy. She keeps telling me she wants more. More intimacy. More unnecessary touching. More everything. I don't know what to do, Penny."

She really didn't want to talk about his relationship with Amy, but she was his friend first. So she did. "Well, have you ever told her how you felt?"

He gave her a Sheldon look. "I've told her many times." He looked down. "I'm going to lose her Penny. I can't do this."

Penny's heart broke a little for him. "I don't think she'd leave you for that to be honest. You're sweet, you're endearing, you're confident. Women love those qualities. I think sometimes you're just afraid to not be Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Physicist extraordinaire."

"But I like being me. Why would I want to be anyone else?"

"I'm not saying you have to be someone else. But you're allowed to expose different sides to yourself. For instance, you're kinda drunk right now. And you used your jacket to help get me safely to the car without getting wet."

"And I failed." He responded.

"That's just it. You didn't fail. You just stopped being all anal retentive Sheldon for a minute and put my needs before yours. You didn't freak out that I was in your personal space, you didn't freak out about the weather. You were just being a gentleman caring for a lady. And whether you end up with Amy or not, that's the kind of man a lady wants." She said.

Sheldon thought about her kind words for a minute. His inebriation lowered his inhibitions, but he was still able to think clearly. "Thank you, Penny. You know how you say you're stupid all the time? Well I just want you to know that you're not. Your knowledge of people and social graces will forever exceed my own."

Penny smiled. A smile that extended from the heart. "Well thank you Sheldon. That means a lot coming from you. And for the record, don't knock coitus until you've tried it. There's a reason people like it."

He shook his head. "I haven't ruled it out, but I don't have any immediately plans to engage in such in the near future. Although I suppose since my revulsion toward human contact is lessened by alcohol, I could potentially…"

"No no no. No drunken coitus sweetie. That's how babies are made." She said.

They maintained idle chit chat for the rest of the ride back to the apartment.

When they got back to Los Robles, they went their separate ways to go change into dry clothes. The storm was still pretty strong outside. About an hour later, the power went out. Penny went into the living room and lit a bunch of candles she had left over from the time the electric company suspended her service.

She sat down on her couch with an old notebook and flipped to a blank page. With a pencil, she began to draw her interpretation of some of the play's scenes. She wasn't the best artist, but she saw everything in her mind so clearly that it translated well to paper. She drew a picture of Dr. Collingsworth sitting at the base of an oak tree with Sarah between his legs. His arms were wrapped around her as they gazed into the distance together. And as always, Sarah had her face, and Tim had Sheldon's.

But then she drew something odd. People in the background walking by. She drew a guy and a girl about the same age walking away without paying any attention to the enamored couple. Only these background people looked a lot like Leonard and Amy.

_Penny, this is so not like you. You're not a diabolical person. You're not a cheater face. Why is Sheldon making you so crazy? Of course you did try to convince Leonard to cheat on Priya once. Or at least not try to stop him. Maybe you're more twisted than you even realize. _

She quickly erased Leonard and Amy from the background. Looking at the picture of Penny and Sheldon alone felt way more comforting. Impossible as it may be, this felt right to her. This world where they were alone. Sarah and Tim. Student and Teacher. Penny and Sheldon.

_This world doesn't exist. This world could never exist, right?_

At that moment, she was startled by the incessant knocking of Sheldon at her door.

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

:Knock knock knock: "Penny"

She got up and answered. "Hey, what's up?"

"Penny, it's dark in my apartment." He said. He looked like a scared boy in his pajamas and bathrobe.

"So light some candles and get a flashlight." She replied.

He didn't like that answer. He just stood there looking scared.

Penny smiled. "Okay, come in. I should have figured between the thunder and the power outage, you'd end up over here."

He scurried past her. "Thank you."

She closed the door and noticed he was about to sit on the couch. She ran over to him and grabbed her notebook off the coffee table.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Oh, I just noticed I forgot to put my notebook away." She explained, clearly looking nervous.

"What's the notebook for?"

"What, can't a girl just have a notebook to write things down in? You're a scientist. You write things down all the time!" She snapped back.

Sheldon was a bit put off by her words. "Like a diary?"

_Yeah, that makes sense._

"Yes. It's a diary. A personal one. So I need to put this away now." She said as she walked to her room and tossed it on her bed. She came back and sat across from Sheldon, in the dark. "So, I'm surprised you're awake right now. I would have thought you'd pass out from the alcohol."

"Yes well, I woke up quickly from the loud crack of thunder and power failure as evidenced by my alarm clock. The effects of alcohol must have worn off quickly this evening. Perhaps I'm building up a tolerance." He said.

_Yeah, doubt it._

Penny cleared her throat. "So, now you're over here. What should we do? I'm guessing you're not going to get any sleep until the storm dies down."

"I suppose not. Luckily, it's not time for bed yet anyhow. Would you care to join me in a round of candlelight Klingon boggle? I find it to be an excellent activity for electronically challenged evenings."

She chuckled. "Yeah, I don't think so. I suppose you could help me with my play again. I have rehearsal tomorrow night, and it doesn't involve any electricity."

_Not that kind of electricity anyway._

He sat up straight. "Alright, I suppose."

She handed him the script to look over. "Okay, let's do this part at the end of Act I, Scene II. I have to do this tomorrow with Cole and I just want to make sure it doesn't come across as too campy."

He perused the text and handed it back to her. She knew that he already memorized this scene before, making it ideal for practice. Penny knew that she shouldn't be doing these romantic scenes with Sheldon anymore, but truthfully, she had to remember how she felt to portray those emotions tomorrow. So she decided to just go for it. She took a deep breath and started reading.

_"Wow, I've always wanted to go to France. I can only imagine what Paris is like at night."_

_"It's breathtaking. Day or night. But you haven't seen anything until you've tagged along with your rich friends for a yacht ride in the south of France." _

Sheldon looked a bit stiff. Penny noticed and made a face at him. "C'mon Sheldon, we're acting. Don't crap out on me. Do it like you always do." She continued reading.

_"Oh my gosh, I envy your life. You make Europe sound incredibly romantic."_

_"With the right person, it can be." _He replied, in a much more convincing manner.

_"Well, then I'll just have to go there with the right person sometime…"_

_"And when you find him, you'll feel like you're there every night. Everyone around you becomes another star in the sky." He said. Penny began to have flashbacks to her Paris dream._

_"Well, Dr. Collingsworth, you paint quite the picture." _

_"Call me Tim."_

_"Alright, Tim. You paint quite the picture."_

_"It's easy when I have such a stunning muse."_

Without much thought, Penny leaned forward and put one hand behind his neck and pulled him in for a lingering kiss.

Sheldon froze.


	24. Chapter 24

Hello readers. This chapter is probably going to upset some people, but it has its place, I promise. I'm holding true to my description, despite the fact that I may break some Shenny hearts. But love ain't easy ;-)

* * *

Sheldon remained frozen with his eyes wide open.

Penny had her eyes softly closed. A few seconds into it, she realized he wasn't kissing her back. She slowly opened her eyes and saw a disturbed look in his eyes. She let go and backed away, inches from his face. He looked somewhat horror stricken, somewhat confused, and somewhat disappointed. They stared into each other's eyes but for a moment, when Sheldon spoke.

"You said you wouldn't kiss me." He said softly.

Penny could barely speak. She had no words. No thoughts.

Sheldon stood up quickly. "I have to go."

She stood up right behind him. "Wait, you can't go. The power's not back on."

"I'll find a flashlight then." He said as he raced to the door.

"Wait, Sheldon. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Don't do this. Please…"

He looked at her sternly. "I said I have to go!" Sheldon slammed the door upon his exit.

Penny choked out a cry and fell to her knees. She put her hands up to her eyes and cried. A lot.

_This is NOT how that was supposed to go. This is all wrong. What's wrong with me? Did I really think he was going to kiss me back? Hell, I don't think he's even kissed his own girlfriend back before. You're not my Dr. Collingsworth. Not at all!_

Penny sat down on the floor against the couch and took a deep breath.

_Even if Sheldon had feelings for me and spontaneously morphed into the guy I think he could be, what would happen? He'd leave Amy and I'd leave Leonard and we'd run away together, while simultaneously ruining some amazing friendships in the process. _

She scurried over to her phone and texted Sheldon.

"I'm so so so so sorry. I understand that you may never speak to me again, but please know I'm sorry. I got caught up in the moment."

She sent the message. And then another one.

"Please don't hate me. I'm sorry this ever happened. I'm sorry this stupid play ever happened. I'm sorry that I became utterly obsessed with you this summer."

She put her phone down before she could do any more damage. She went into her room and grabbed the notebook. Penny ripped out the drawing and shredded it to pieces. Then she stopped being a nutcase for a moment.

_Maybe he just ran away because he got scared. Maybe he would have kissed me back if we were both single. Maybe all I did is prove to him why I'm not girlfriend material. Or friend material. Wow did I screw up._

Penny walked into the living room and looked around her dimly lit apartment. She remembered the night Sheldon slept on the couch. She remembered the time he marched in and asked her on a date just to make Amy jealous. She remembered how she almost gagged on the thought of accepting a date with him, because it felt like dating a brother or cousin or something.

Then Penny thought about the candlelit mood. She remembered bringing home guys from clubs and having meaningless sex with them. Or making out with some idiot just to make herself feel important. Then she remembered the night Leonard kissed her on the couch. And there was the time he told her he loved her. He even proposed marriage in this very apartment.

Penny then thought about her recent kiss with Sheldon. One moment to ruin all other moments.

_I've got a lot of hard decisions to make._

* * *

Across the hall, Sheldon sat on his couch in the dark. He certainly didn't want to be alone during a power failure, but clearly Penny's apartment was no longer an option. He took out his cell phone and texted Amy.

"Are you experiencing a power outage at your apartment complex?"

Within a minute, she responded. "Yes. According to the electric company, power should be restored within the next 4-8 hours."

Sheldon looked up from his phone. "Drat."

He texted Amy back.

"Would you be interested in accompanying me during this time? I do not care for storms nor power failures."

Once again, Amy responded quickly. "It's getting late and the weather isn't ideal for driving. It's not safe to drive back and forth under these conditions."

Sheldon hesitated before writing back. "You may spend the night here if you wish to eliminate the return trip."

"Okay! I'll be there as soon as I pack my things." Amy wrote.

Sheldon didn't want to be alone, and he didn't want to be plagued with thoughts of Penny's advances. But somehow, in the midst of trying to avoid confrontation with Amy, he entered into a volatile relationship with Penny. And now she kissed him.

He went back through his phone to see the texts she sent him. He didn't answer either of them for lack of a response.

_She's obsessed with me? _

But the more he thought of it, the more he realized that he should be taking Howard's advice. Avoiding Amy via Penny didn't help the situation. All it did is make Penny want the same thing Amy wants.

_I've got to stop whatever I'm doing that's causing me to be_ a _veritable chick magnet._

He sat in silence to think. Perhaps disclosing his initial interest to Penny was a mistake. Maybe somehow in the midst of their interactions during Leonard's absence, he did something to indicate he reciprocated her feelings. Or maybe it was another manifestation of her baser urges getting the best of her.

Sheldon needed to talk to someone about this, but Amy was certainly out of the question. For the remainder of this evening, she would remain his girlfriend and proverbial thunder buddy.

Shortly thereafter, Amy arrived with an over sized purse filled with toiletries and a change of clothing.

"Hello Sheldon. I see your power hasn't returned yet. Perhaps we could light some candles to lighten the room a bit." Amy said.

"NO!" Sheldon yelled quickly. Amy looked at him questioningly. "I mean no, that's alright. I'm not a big fan of candles. Fire hazards and all. I have a flashlight along with my previously installed emergency exit lights. They will suffice for now."

"Alright." She responded as she took a seat on the couch. They spoke about various things in the world of science, ranging from recent news to their personal endeavors at work. Inevitable, Amy brought up the subject of Penny.

"How's my bestie holding up in this storm? Should we check on her?"

"No!" He yelled again, forgetting how suspicious he sounded the first time. "I saw Penny a little while ago. She's doing alright. She gave me a ride home from the restaurant this evening."

Amy wrinkled her eyebrows. "Are you sure you're okay? Bernadette told me that Howard and Raj were a bit concerned about you lately. And I was wondering if the status of your wellbeing was connected to your evasiveness these past weeks."

Sheldon blinked oddly. "Concerned about me? Why?"

"I don't know. They seem to think that you and Penny aren't taking kindly to Leonard's absence and are seeking refuge in each other's company at an alarming rate. I sure hope that if you were in distress, you would have come to me to talk about it." Amy said.

He remained stiff. Sheldon knew that he would have to speak to Raj and Howard in the morning to see what exactly they knew about his whereabouts.

"Well, thank you Amy for expressing your concern. Perhaps I am experiencing some emotional distress, which is absurd considering how much I used to appreciate being alone." He responded.

She smiled. "It's okay, Sheldon. You don't have to be strong for me. I'm your girlfriend. I'm here if you need me. Now, is there anything else you want to talk about regarding your recent behavior?"

_Yes. But I can't._

"No, not at this time." He thought about telling her what happened with Penny, but he really didn't understand what happened. Until he knew whether or not he was to blame, he decided to keep quiet. He would effectively cause her to lose her best friend. And he didn't want to be responsible for causing that kind of pain. A pain that would extend to Leonard as well upon losing Penny. He had to find a solution to all of this, and fast.

Sheldon then realized something. He never rinsed with mouthwash upon returning from Penny's apartment.

_Oh God, the germs. Oh God. Why did I not notice before? _

He stood up abruptly. "Excuse me, Amy." He went into the bathroom and proceeded to rinse with mouthwash. Sheldon looked at his reflection in the dimly lit mirror using his cell phone light. He tried equate his kiss with Penny to that of Beverly Hofstadter.

_I didn't initiate it. I didn't kiss her back. Then again, I've never initiated any kiss. Ever. For good reason of course._

Sheldon proceeded back to the living room and sat down next to Amy.

She noticed the scent of mouthwash immediately. "May I ask why you dismissed yourself to gargle mouthwash? Are you preparing for bed? I can stay on the couch. Or if you prefer, I can stay in Leonard's room if you want me in closer quarters."

He smiled. Somehow, the fact that she wasn't throwing herself at him in a dark room when she was obviously staying over comforted him.

"Yes, if you don't mind Amy, I would like to retire to my room. You may stay on the couch or in Leonard's room, whichever is more comfortable for you."

She nodded. "Then I'd prefer to stay here. I'll keep an eye on the door to ensure your safety."

Sheldon smiled. "Thank you, Amy. That is exceedingly kind of you."

"Of course. I came here to take care of you."

He suddenly thought back to Penny's words from earlier. _"You were just being a gentleman caring for a lady. And whether you end up with Amy or not, that's the kind of man a lady wants."_

Penny was right. That's what Amy wanted. And here he was taking care of Penny because he worried that giving Amy too much attention would just put ideas in her head. Those ideas were already there.

_But Amy's not Penny. Amy's my girlfriend, and Penny is not. Perhaps I should start acting like it._

Sheldon nodded at Amy. "Alright well, goodnight." He said. But he didn't move.

"Goodnight, Sheldon." She waited for him to move so she could lay down, but he remained still. "I said goodnight Sheldon. You can go now."

"Wait." He said. He started blinking oddly again and his heartbeat quickened.

"Wait for what?"

At that moment, he leaned forward and lightly, and awkwardly, kissed Amy on the lips. It didn't last long, but Amy looked like she could be knocked over with a feather.

He spoke again. "Goodnight Amy." And with that, he retired to his room.

Amy smiled from ear to ear and put her fingers to her lips. "Goodnight…" She whispered.

She was beaming with excitement, yet silenced by her awe. Amy immediately grabbed her cell phone and texted Penny.

"OMG bestie, you won't believe this. Sheldon actually kissed me. He kissed ME. He's never initiated a kiss before! Isn't that great?!"

Penny was on her couch with a glass of wine, thinking things over, when she got Amy's text. She read it and opened her eyes up wide.

"WHAT?!" Penny yelled.

_Dammit, that was MY kiss!_


	25. Chapter 25

Hello everyone. Sorry for my delay in updating. I've had a very long and crazy week. But here we go. Back to the story =)

* * *

Penny stirred in anger for what seemed like an eternity. She eventually texted back exactly what she knew Amy wanted to hear.

"Oh nice! That's awesome Amy!"

_Not awesome. Not awesome at all. Does he really think he can hold back from kissing me and kiss her instead? He didn't want to kiss her. He wanted to kiss me back but left too soon._

For some reason, all logic went out the window when her emotions got stirred up. She was thinking clearly just before she received Amy's text. She thought she was going to leave Sheldon alone and try to patch up their friendship. But no, not now. Now she was angry and heartbroken again.

She wanted to text Sheldon, scolding him for his actions. But there was no point. He wasn't responding to her. But at least he didn't rat her out to Amy.

_Yeah wait a minute. Why didn't he tell Amy? Instead he kisses her? What the hell?! If he was that attached to her, he would have told her the truth. That bastard! He's turning out to be just as screwed up as I am._

And with her wrath, she went to bed. There was nothing more that could be done that night.

* * *

The next morning, Sheldon woke up at his usual time and got ready for work. He walked into the living room and saw Amy doing the same. Luckily, the power had been restored during the night.

"Good morning, Amy. I trust you slept well." He said.

"Good morning, Sheldon. I slept adequately, although I would have been more comfortable in a bed. It was more important that I fulfill my end of the Relationship Agreement and protect you from harm."

_Oh crud. The Relationship Agreement. I need to review Section 8._

"For the record, you declined my offer to allow you refuge in Leonard's room." He replied.

"If you had a bigger bed, I could have slept in your room…" Amy said coyly.

_Hoh boy… Here we go._

"Well, isn't that just unfortunate?" He responded.

Amy scowled. "Well, it's time for me to leave for work. Will you be needing a ride to the university?"

"Alright. Thank you. I'll just text Raj on the way to let him know."

* * *

At lunch time, the guys made their way to their usual table. Upon sitting down with his lunch, Sheldon started to speak.

"Gentleman, I would like to direct today's conversation toward an important topic for discussion."

Raj pushed his food around with his fork. "Do you think these are canned or frozen lima beans?"

Howard raised an eyebrow. "What difference does it make?"

Sheldon got exasperated quickly. "I'm serious, there's something important I want to discuss."

Raj continued his previous thought. "Just wondering. Canned beans contain more calories and I'm trying not to get too hippy."

Again, Sheldon interjected. "It's about Penny."

They both stopped and looked at Sheldon.

"What about Penny?" Raj asked.

"I will preface my concerns with the fact that Amy told me you two are concerned about my current relationship with Penny. As it turns out, I believe your cause for concern may have been well justified."

"You're sleeping with Penny?!" Howard asked in a raised voice.

Sheldon quickly shushed him. "Goodness, no. Nothing like that. However, I do believe she may be romantically attached to me and I don't know what to do about it."

"And are you romantically attached to her?" Howard asked quickly.

Sheldon gave him a look. "No, I am not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with Penny."

Raj was pushing food around again. "Are you sure. You two looked pretty cozy last night."

Suddenly, Sheldon flinched. "How so? What did you see?!"

Howard and Raj looked worried at Sheldon's reaction.

"You let her inside your jacket while you were running to her car." Raj said.

Sheldon let out a sigh. "Oh yes. My lack of judgment due to alcohol intake and chivalrous nature led to such."

Howard wasn't convinced that was all. "Okay, question 1. You were drinking? And question two. "Did something else happen last night?"

Sheldon twitched. "Yes, I had an alcoholic beverage after our debacle at dinner. In any case, this was my conversation to initiate. I was merely going to ask what to do to reduce Penny's attachment to me."

"Tell us what happened that night and we'll tell you how to get rid of Penny." Raj said, looking smug.

He stayed quiet for a few seconds and looked down at his food.

"Come on, Sheldon. We won't tell the girls, we promise." Howard said in hopes of hearing something good.

Sheldon hesitated, but finally spoke. "Last night, I retired to my room and fell asleep for a while after dinner. I woke up when a particularly loud crack of thunder shook the apartment about an hour later. I noticed the power had gone out, so I went to Penny's apartment."

The guys leaned forward like Sheldon was telling a particularly good ghost story.

He continued. "I suggested a round of Klingon Boggle to pass the time. She countered with an offer to rehearse a specific scene from her play. This particular scene involved the characters kissing for the first time. Despite her previous claim that we would ignore stage directions, she kissed me."

Howard and Raj just looked at Sheldon for a moment with looks of utter confusion and amazement.

"What kind of kiss?" Howard asked in a slightly sleazy manner.

Sheldon looked confused.

Raj stepped in. "Where did she kiss you? On the mouth?"

Sheldon nodded. "Yes."

"Well I'll be damned. She really would get with Sheldon before me." Howard said.

Raj shook his head. "Dude, this is crazy! What about Leonard? What about Amy? Did you tell her?"

Sheldon just shook his head no.

"You have to tell Amy what happened. You kissed her best friend for crying out loud." Howard said.

"For the record, I did not reciprocate her actions. Instead I promptly left the apartment." Sheldon explained.

"I still can't believe she's go for you before me." Howard said. His comment earned him a glance from Raj and Sheldon.

* * *

Meanwhile, down the hall at the university, Penny was lurking around the corner from Sheldon's office.

_I just need to talk to him. I need him to understand what he feels. He needs to catch up already. I know it's in there._

She peered into his office and found his desk chair empty. Penny walked into his office and looked around like she was on a mission. She had no idea what she was looking for, but she was hoping to find something that would make her feel better.

After shuffling through some papers on his desk, she found a document indicating that Amy should be called in case of an emergency. Penny felt a small jab in her stomach at the sight of it.

_Maybe this was something he did a long time ago._

She sat down in his chair and opened his desk drawer. While she was looking through his well-organized folders, she heard someone clear their throat.

"Hewwo Woxanne… what are we doing in Dr. Coopah's woom?"

_Oh crap. Not this guy._


	26. Chapter 26

I'm posting two chapters back to back since this one is far more important. And because I should have posted 24 two days ago.

* * *

Penny slowly looked up at Kripke. "Oh hey, I was just waiting for Sheldon to get back."

"It wooks wike you're going thwough his stuff." He said.

She looked down, and realized there was no point to her endeavors, so she closed the desk drawer.

"I know, I got nosy. I'm sorry. Don't tell him I did that; you know how he is." Penny said.

"Yeah, bat cwap cwazy."

She chuckled. "Ain't that the truth."

"He's in wunch I bewieve if you are wooking for him."

"Um, yeah, no thanks. It's okay. I'll just be on my way. Bye." Penny said as she scurried out of his office and briskly walked down the hall.

Kripke raised his eyebrows. He decided to go to the lunch room to let Sheldon know what happened. Even though he didn't care for him much, it still wasn't good to have an outsider perusing their research.

He spotted Sheldon while he was conversing with Howard and Raj.

"Hey Coopah, your bwonde fwiend was here." Kripke explained.

Sheldon's eyes went a bit wide. So did Howard and Raj's.

"Penny was here?!"

"Yeah. She was at your desk waiting for you. Then she weft. I don't know what she was up to."

Sheldon promptly stood up and started to walk away.

Howard spoke up. "Sheldon, where are you going?"

"I need to put an end to this myself. I started this mess and I'm going to finish it." Sheldon said as he left the cafeteria.

They all watched him leave.

"You would think he had a stawker or something." Kripke added.

Sheldon walked quickly through the halls to get to his office. Clearly, she had been there and left. He could still smell the faint aroma of her shampoo and noticed his paperwork slightly ajar. He then turned and walked down the hallway toward the entrance to their building.

* * *

Penny stood outside the main doors for a bit, leaning on the wall. She was a bit disgusted with herself for all the crap she'd been doing lately. First this ridiculous notion that she wanted Sheldon. Then this idea that they could have some romantic story like the one from the play. And most importantly, that her actions wouldn't have consequences. She took out her phone and held it like she was about to make a call, but stopped. She looked around to see some people walking around, coming and going from work. And she saw a few students lurking around campus as well. What really stopped her in her tracks was a familiar sight. She saw a man sitting below an oak tree with a young lady. She was clearly involved with him, and he seemed a bit older than him. She had her head on his shoulder and they were holding hands and laughing about something.

Penny initially felt a longing for their romance, but changed her attitude immediately.

_That's not me. And that's certainly not Sheldon. _

She smiled and looked back at her phone.

Sheldon managed to get to the door in time to see Penny making a phone call. He stayed back to see what she was doing without being seen.

"Hi Mikey. How are you? …. That's good. Listen, I need to talk to you about something serious for a second…. Yeah, I have to withdraw from the show."

Sheldon looked a bit stunned. Acting was Penny's livelihood. He couldn't imagine what would make her give it up.

Penny continued on the phone. "I know, and I'm really sorry. Something has come up, and it's really important that I step away now before things get worse... We'll keep in touch… Okay I'll talk to you later. Good luck!"

She hung up the phone and folded her arms. She leaned against the brick wall near the doors and started to tear up a bit, still looking in the direction of the love-struck couple.

Sheldon came forward and walked up to Penny. "Penny, what's going on? Why are you here?"

She jumped for a second, not expecting him to be right behind her. "Oh, hey Sheldon. I'm really sorry, you won't ever see me here again." She said as she started to walk away.

He followed her, matching her pace. "I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's going on. Why did you just withdraw from the play?"

Penny stopped and turned to face him. "You heard that?"

"Yes. And I would like to know why."

"Trust me, it's better that I don't discuss this with you." She said.

Sheldon started to get a bit pushy. "Walk with me."

"What?"

"Walk with me. I want to talk to you and it's probably best if we don't do it at my place of employment."

They walked a bit away into an area of campus with plush greenery. Penny's head was down when Sheldon began to speak.

"Now, I don't know what's going on with you, but I don't like this new Penny. The Penny I know wouldn't lie to me, betray her friends, and give up acting. Tell me what's going on. I want my friend back."

"I want Penny back too. I don't know Sheldon, I don't even recognize myself anymore. All I wanted was to become a better actress. And all this stupid play did was make me doubt myself and want a relationship that I didn't have. And even though I thought the play was bringing us closer, all it's doing is driving us apart."

He looked puzzled. "You gave up the play for me?"

"For us. For all of us. I'm so sorry Sheldon. I think I wanted you to be my Dr. Collingsworth so bad that I started to believe it. Especially when you told me I was pretty and you once considered dating me or whatever."

Sheldon sighed and collected his thoughts. "I did not tell you those things in an attempt to flatter you or display my affection toward you. I was merely stating facts because you asked."

She looked down and began to push the grass around with her foot. "Yeah I guess. It just felt nice. The guy who essentially thought he was too good for me to suddenly come around. Everyone expects me to just end up with Leonard. In a way, I hate being so freaking predictable."

"I never felt I was too good for you. We're different people, Penny. And through mutual friends and close proximity, we became friends."

Penny looked up at him. "I honestly can't believe you're still being nice to me. After I threw myself at you and went through your work crap. Which reminds me, why didn't you tell Amy what happened?"

Sheldon paused for a bit. "Well, I do intend to tell her. But I wanted to make sure I knew what I was telling her first. I didn't want to be responsible for terminating your friendship with Amy. Although I learned from Howard and Raj this morning that as her boyfriend, I will need to do so in the near future."

"Yeah, I know. And I get it. When you do, tell her that this was never about hurting her. And if she decides to ever talk to me again, I'll be there to listen."

Penny started to feel at peace with herself. A feeling she hadn't experienced in a long time. "As soon as Leonard comes home, I'll tell him too. I just don't want to ruin his trip." She explained.

Sheldon nodded. "Thank you for explaining yourself, Penny. But for future records, don't ever go through my things again."

Penny smirked. "Alright sweetie. I'll see you… whenever I see you."

"Alright. A tautology nonetheless, but I know what you meant. Good day, Penny." He said as he walked back toward his office.

Penny looked around campus for a minute and laughed to herself.

_Wow, I spent all this time imagining the perfect man, when Sheldon's more of a man than I ever gave him credit for. It's time to start fixing my life._


	27. Epilogue

For the next week, Penny spent her time trying to savage her friendships. Amy was more worried than angry upon hearing the news. She was partially amused by trying to diagnose Penny's issues and partially flattered that one of the most beautiful girls she knew hit on her boyfriend to no avail because he cared for her that much. So with time, she forgave Penny, with the understanding that if she ever puts another hand on Sheldon, she'd have to pay.

That August, the show went off without a hitch, and Penny went to go watch the final production. It was a bit odd for her to watch someone else play Sarah, but it was refreshing to see all those scenes played out differently than the way she used to dream about them. Sheldon did his best to get her to reverse her decision to withdraw, but Penny knew that with her mental health on the line, missing out on one show wouldn't make or break her career.

Upon Leonard's return to Pasadena, Penny sat him down and told him about her crazy episode with Sheldon resulting from the play and her own self-delusion. Leonard was somewhat heartbroken, but also concerned for her well-being. Mainly, he was confused about how she ever had a crush on Sheldon. After a thorough discussion and some tears, they agreed to take a break from dating until they sorted everything out.

During this break, Penny went back to that autobiography she started writing before the whole fiasco started. She noticed how happy and collected she was, and felt it was now the time to self-analyze and return to that state.

She picked up her laptop and began to type.

_"In my life, I learned that nothing is set in stone. Everything I do from a day to day basis is a choice. The only reason we see things as mandatory is because we've already predetermined that the consequence of not doing them is beyond the scope of our imagination. For instance, if you receive a credit card bill, you don't technically have to pay it, but by choosing not to pay it, you're accepting the consequence of a late fee and possible deteriorating of your credit. Everything is a choice, and by removing yourself from the responsibility of making that choice, you begin to lose yourself. I began to lose myself._

_When people go missing from my life, I spend a lot of time revaluating whether or not I need them. I guess I always thought that if the love of my life walked away for a little while, even if it had nothing to do with me, I'd just fall apart. The first time the guys went on a summer expedition, I did a lot of thinking and realized that I was absolutely crazy about Leonard and I wanted him home. This time, all I did was convince myself he was replaceable. And he's not. Not by Sheldon anyway._

_Through it all, Sheldon and I did learn a lot about each other. I learned that despite his rigorous point systems, agreements, and rules, he really does value human relationships. A man that used to be okay on his own is now deeply disturbed by the absence of this friends. And I'd like to think that it shows our strength of character. The fact that no matter how crazy Sheldon makes us all, we still want him in our lives and have become a crucial part of his own._

_Like Sheldon explained to me once, a relationship between me and him just didn't make sense. All the romantic lingo in the world could never bring together two people that aren't meant to be. I'm aware of the old cliché that opposites attract, but it doesn't work in the case where those opposites want entirely different things. And to this day, I don't know what I want. But Sheldon does, and despite my unclear goals, I know they are still far from his. I have no idea if he will end up marrying Amy or remain solely married to his love of Physics, but I'm positive that wherever he chooses to dedicate his efforts, he'll be triumphant._

_As for Amy, she is very much like Sheldon in her actions and verbiage, but right now she is seeking to relive a childhood she thought she could never have. In a horrible way, I guess having your friend hit on your boyfriend is something plenty of high school girls go through. Although I wish I could have spared her that experience. But in any event, if there is anyone in the world that can make Sheldon succumb to exploring his sexuality, it'll be her. It may be the slowest process EVER, but as long as he wants her in his life, she'll help him get there._

_Leonard is similar to me in that he knows there is a world out there bigger than us and bigger than we could ever see. We don't know everything about it, or ourselves, but we don't want to ever stop trying to figure it out. Whether it be through Physics, acting, comic books or comic relief, I believe that we can each learn enough about the world to feel at peace with our decisions. Of course, Leonard wants to go on this life journey with me, but I think there's a bit more I need to do on my own first._

_Bernadette and Howard are happy together, more than I ever anticipated they would be. I think it's wonderful that found each other (with my help). And now that Raj can talk to women, I believe it won't be long before someone special enters his life. He deserves it after everything he's overcome._

_As for me, I'm auditioning for another play soon, and I don't plan on backing out of this one unless it turns out to be porn or something again. I don't think I'll get stuck in my own head this time. I've learned that there is a clear difference between being in character and being the character. I need to take what I'm assigned and make it my own instead of losing myself._

_For now, I'm just taking life one day at a time. And I'm no longer envious of anyone else's life, real or fictional."_

::Knock Knock::

Leonard entered her apartment. "Penny, movie starts in 25 minutes. Sheldon's going to have a cow if we get there late again."

"Yeah, I'll be there in a second, I'm just finishing up something."

He left the room and Penny looked back down at her laptop. She smiled and wrote one more sentence.

_"My name is Penny, and this is my story. And if you don't like it, I have no problem going junior rodeo on your ass."_

She laughed to herself and closed her laptop. She grabbed her purse and keys by the front door and ran out to greet the gang.

"Okay, I'm here. Let's do this."

FIN.


End file.
